


Coming Home

by screamingsongbird16



Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-07-25 22:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7549135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamingsongbird16/pseuds/screamingsongbird16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Double Joker, Jitsui returns to D-Agency, and it’s like coming home.  He’s especially happy that Hatano is back at the agency too.  But the agency is different than he remembers from before going under cover.  And Hatano is different too.  Suddenly, Jitsui no longer knows where he stands with his best friend, how they fit together anymore, or if they can get back to the way they used to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

            The water was lukewarm at best, and the pipes rattled the entire time Jitsui spent in the shower.  The heat was malfunctioning, so as soon as he got out, Jitsui’s teeth set to chattering.  He dried himself quickly, with a worn towel, that was only half a step up from being threadbare, and smirked softly at the difference between life back here at D-Agency, and how life had been while living undercover at Shirahata’s villa.

            It was good to be home.

            Jitsui folded his towel and dressed quickly, in his sleepshirt and a comfortable pair of pants, and left the showers barefoot.  As he passed by a window on his way down to the cafeteria, he saw the day’s first sunlight starting to shine through.  That fit with his mental calculations for what time it was.  Schooling Wind Agency had taken most of the night.  Then rendezvousing with Kaminaga and Hatano, getting back to Tokyo, and debriefing with Lt. Colonel Yuuki had all taken more time too.  So now it was dawn.  And Kaminaga had mentioned that in addition to him and Hatano, Fukumoto and Amari were at the agency too.  And hopefully Fukumoto had anticipated them all arriving home at this crazy hour and being hungry, and had made something for them to eat before straggling into bed.  If not, Jitsui would make something.  He didn’t really like cooking, but he was hungry.  It had been a long night.  A good meal before going to bed sounded just about perfect.  Kaminaga had also told him to figure on having only a day or two of downtime before Yuuki-san put him through a month of reconditioning hell.  So Jitsui wanted to make the most of it.  With luck, Hatano would be in the cafeteria, snagging an early breakfast too.  Then they could both go and sleep until lunch.  Then eat lunch, and then Jitsui planned on shadowing Hatano with whatever he was doing.  As long as Hatano would be around D-Agency for the day.  Which he probably would be, since he’d been up all night last night, like Kaminaga and Jitsui had.  Yuuki-san was tough on them, but he was no slave driver.  Their boss made it clear that he believed they were Japan’s greatest assets.  He made sure they had time to recover from their assignments.

            Maybe Hatano would even have the day off too.  Jitsui hoped so.  They could go out around town together.  Maybe stop for a drink in a café and catch up.  Or just go for a walk down the streets, or in the park.  That evening they could go to a restaurant with all the others who were around, then play cards late into the night.

            Jitsui was looking so forward to it, he’d almost forgotten that this hadn’t been officially planned yet.  It was just his wishes for how the day would turn out.  But when he reached the kitchen, he saw that the first part of his plan was about to fall nicely into place.  Hatano was sitting at one of the tables, slumped over it, actually, and resting his head on its hard surface.

            Then Jitsui noticed something a little strange.  There were cards spread out on the table, as though Hatano was in the middle of a game with someone else.  But no one else was in the kitchen.  Maybe Kaminaga had stayed up too?  Maybe he’d stepped away for a few minutes to use the toilet or fetch something from upstairs. 

            Jitsui approached Hatano casually, not taking care to make any more or less noise than normal.  By now Hatano already knew he was there.  But he didn’t sit up, like Jitsui expected him to.  Which meant he must really be exhausted. 

            “Hungry?” asked Jitsui, stopping by Hatano’s chair.  “I was going to fix myself something to eat.  Would you like me to make you something as well?”

            Hatano still didn’t move.  He didn’t even open his eyes.

            That’s when Jitsui started to get the sense that something was wrong.

            “Hatano?” he asked, and cautiously reached for his friend.

            Touching Hatano when he wasn’t expecting it was always a little bit risky, because of two combined factors.  He’d been abused as a child, and he was now a martial arts master.  When he’d first started D-Agency’s training, any casual touch made him either tense like he was expecting an attack, or actually retaliate.  A couple people had gotten unexpected flying lessons just for trying to tap him on the shoulder.  Over time, he’d gotten better about his reactions to being touched, especially by Jitsui.  And then by the other spies, since Miyoshi had launched a campaign to recondition him into accepting casual touches.  Over time, Hatano even started casually touching them back.  Tapping shoulders or arms to get attention, casually leaning against one of his friends on the train, and finally even going as far as to share sleeping space with Jitsui when the weather started getting cold, and Jitsui spent the whole night shivering under his stack of blankets, keeping everyone else awake, if he didn’t have someone to share body heat with.

            But that had all been quite a while back.  Jitsui had been undercover and away from D-Agency for over a year.  And he knew Hatano had been away for a long time too.  He didn’t want to startle Hatano now, and get a broken wrist for it.  That would keep Jitsui from being able to start prepping for his next mission, and make Hatano feel horrible.

            He was very careful when he laid his hand down on Hatano’s shoulder.  But to his surprise, nothing happened.  Hatano didn’t tense, like he once would have, or look up, or have any sort of reaction to Jitsui’s touch.  It was like he was asleep.

            And that was when Jitsui started to get really worried.

            No D-Agency spy could naturally fall into a sleep so deep that an unexpected touch wouldn’t wake them.  And it usually didn’t even take a touch.  Very slight noises would do it.  Yuuki-san had conditioned them all to be hair triggered in their sleep.  Jitsui and Hatano, sharing sleeping space as they had, tended to be exceptions to each other in that rule, but that was if and only if they both went to bed at the same time.  If one crawled into bed later after the other was already there, the first one always briefly woke up.  But now here was Hatano, completely out of it, not even in bed, but sprawled out halfway on a tabletop, and not waking up even though Jitsui was talking to him and touching him.

            “Hatano?” asked Jitsui, giving him a slight shake.  “Hatano, wake up?”

            Had he been drugged?  Poisoned?  And they hadn’t noticed?  Had the Wind Agency bastards used some sort of slow acting nerve agent? 

            Jitsui put two fingers against Hatano’s throat to take his pulse.  It was strong and steady.  Not weak and erratic, as Jitsui had feared it would be.  Which didn’t rule out poison, but made the worse ones less likely.  So Jitsui took Hatano by both shoulders and pulled him up, then pressed back so that Hatano was sitting up in his chair.  His head nodded forward, so that his chin was drooping toward his chest, making Jitsui even more certain that drugs were involved.

            “Hatano!  Wake up!” Jitsui raised his voice.  He would have given Hatano a hard shake then, and if that didn’t work, his next step would have been to douse him with water.  And if that still didn’t work, Jitsui would have shouted for help, and one of the others could get the med kit.  But before any of that could happen, Kaminaga appeared in the doorway.

            “Jitsui, stop!” he said quickly and hurried toward the two younger boys.

            “Kaminaga!  Hatano, something’s wrong with him,” said Jitsui.  “He’s unconscious.  He won’t wake up –”

            Kaminaga gently seized Jitsui’s wrists and removed them from Hatano.  “It’s alright, Jitsui.  Don’t worry, nothing’s wrong.”

            Did Kaminaga not see?  Did he not get it?  How could he not?  He was a D-Agency spy too!  He knew that for one of them to stay asleep through something like this meant that something was seriously, seriously wrong!

            “He won’t wake up!” Jitsui said, finally raising his voice.  “Don’t tell me nothing’s wrong!  I’m getting Yuuki-san!”

            “Jitsui, it’s alright,” said Fukumoto from the doorway.  “I promise.  Just let us explain.”

            Jitsui looked at the tallest spy in confusion. 

            Kaminaga took advantage of his hesitation to dive into the explanation.  “Hatano’s still recovering from a head injury he received in France,” he said.  “You remember how he mentioned that he got amnesia in France?”

            Slowly, Jitsui nodded.

            “That happened because a German soldier hit him in the head with the butt of his rifle,” said Kaminaga.  “He forgot who he was for a few hours, but it came back to him eventually.”

            “And this . . . sleeping like this . . . it’s a complication from that injury?” asked Jitsui.

            Kaminaga and Fukumoto looked at each other.  Jitsui saw the look that passed between them.

            “What aren’t you telling me?”

            “He’s going to find out eventually,” Fukumoto said to Kaminaga.  “You can either tell him now or suffer for concealing it later.”

            “Tell me what?”  Jitsui let a bit of edge creep into his voice and was pleased to see Kaminaga swallow.  Good.  He wouldn’t have to reteach them why they shouldn’t vex him.

            “That wasn’t the only head injury Hatano dealt with,” said Kaminaga at last.  “A few days later, he rendezvoused with Yuuki-san, and they boarded the Hakusan Maru for its last voyage back to Japan.  But before the ship could depart, German soldiers came aboard.  They were looking for Japanese teenagers who matched Hatano’s description, because . . . Hatano kind of sort of started a riot, teamed up with the French Resistance, and blew up some Nazi soldiers while he was running around with no memories.”

            “What?” asked Jitsui, more startled by this news than he’d been from learning that Amari had adopted a daughter. 

            “He actually started the riot when he had his memories,” said Fukumoto.  “It was part of his plan to infiltrate the French Resistance.  He lost his memories during the riot when he was hit with the German soldier’s rifle.  Then he got them back when he was hit in the head by a member of the Resistance with a pistol.”

            “He got found out by the French Resistance?” asked Jitsui. 

            “No, he outed a mole in the French Resistance, then her boyfriend decided to betray the cause too and pistol whipped him,” said Kaminaga.  “Er, we’re not doing the greatest job of explaining.  But, well, yes, he was hit in the head twice, hard enough to jolt his brain that day.  And then a few days later, when the German soldiers boarded the ship, they beat him pretty badly.  His head took enough abuse to leave him unconscious for three days, and when he woke up, his memories were gone again.”

            “But Yuuki-san was there, and took care of him until he got them back again,” said Fukumoto.

            Jitsui’s eyes were wide and glassy as he looked from the two older spies, down to sleeping Hatano, back to them, and then back to Hatano.

            “He was able to mostly recover on the voyage home.  But, well, you know what repeated head injuries can do to someone,” said Kaminaga.

            Jitsui did.  He’d taken the same medical classes as them.  And head injuries were monsters.  You never knew how one could turn out.  And Hatano’s head had suffered abuse on three separate instances in a short amount of time.  Brain damage would have been almost inevitable.

            Fukumoto took pity on Jitsui.  “He’s recovered well.  Yuuki-san wouldn’t let him out of the house if he wasn’t.  Let alone allowed him to participate in the confrontation with Wind Agency.  Right now the only remaining effect is that he sleeps a lot and he sleeps very deeply.  Which is a good thing, in actuality, because you recover the most while you’re sleeping.  Yuuki-san is putting off reconditioning him until next summer.  He doesn’t want to be pumping his brain full of chemicals while he’s recovering from brain damage.”

            “But one of the new house rules is that if Hatano’s asleep, you let him sleep,” said Kaminaga.  “The penalty if Yuuki-san learns anyone has woken him up is that person gets to swim five miles in the ocean that night.  ”

            Jitsui frowned down at Hatano and reached out for his friend.  He let his hand settle on top of Hatano’s soft mop of hair.  “We should take him up to bed,” he said softly.  “Sleeping in that chair isn’t good for his back.”  Then he bent down and wrapped an arm around Hatano’s mid-back, intending to slide his other arm underneath Hatano’s knees and pick him up.

            Fukumoto stopped him.  “Let me.”

            As much as Jitsui wanted to argue, he knew he shouldn’t.  He knew he could lift Hatano, but Fukumoto could do it much easier.  Fukumoto was much bigger, with stronger arms, and was less likely to wake him.  So Jitsui stood aside and watched as Fukumoto gathered Hatano in his arms and lifted him as easily as if he was a child.  Hatano didn’t so much as stir throughout it all.  And even though he now knew the reason for this, Jitsui couldn’t help but be unsettled by it.  It just wasn’t natural for a D-Agency spy to sleep like that.  Jitsui followed them back to the dormitory just in case.  He didn’t know in case of what.  Just in case.

            He almost protested when Fukumoto put Hatano down into the bed that had always technically been Hatano’s.  Because in actuality, Hatano and Jitsui had always shared Jitsui’s bed.   Even since before completing their training and moving into D-Agency.  The two had never once slept in separate beds in this dorm.  During the cold months, Jitsui’s shivering kept everyone awake if he didn’t have someone to share body heat with.  And during the warmer months, well, they’d just gotten used to it, and it was too much trouble to switch things up.

            But at that moment Jitsui realized that maybe it was time to.  As much as he wanted to keep sharing sleeping space with Hatano, who he’d loved using as his personal sunbeam, he saw now that might not be what was best for Hatano anymore.  In sleep, they had a tendency to get tangled up with each other, in ways that would be awkward for most anyone else.  Jitsui often ended up sprawled on top of Hatano, unconsciously crawling halfway on top of him in the night.  Usually that resulted in him using Hatano’s chest as his pillow, but now and then they woke up cheek to cheek.  What if they ended up clonking their heads together while they were both unconscious?  It wasn’t worth the risk, Jitsui decided, as he watched Fukumoto tuck Hatano in.

            Once he finished, Fukumoto looked to Jitsui.  “Are you hungry?” he asked.  “I’ll fix you something.”

            Jitsui shook his head.  His appetite was gone now. 

            “No thank you,” he said.  “I’m tired.  I think I’ll just go to bed.”

            His sheets had been recently laundered, Jitsui noted, as he crawled under them, and the huge stack of blankets on top of them.  Someone had taken the time to make sure they were freshly cleaned for him.  The thought should have warmed him.  He did appreciate it.  But his sheets just still seemed so cold.  Even when he curled into a ball and hunched in on himself as much as he could, Jitsui still found himself starting to shiver.

 

* * *

 

 

            Notes: First chapter of my new fic!  Readers of my previous fic “The Voyage Home” will probably recognize that this fic follows the same continuity, but reading one of them isn’t necessary for understanding the other.  But if you want to read about Yuuki-san catching fatherly feels and taking care of Hatano when he’s vulnerable, then by all means, feel free to go read The Voyage Home too! :)  But for now I hope you enjoyed the start of this new story. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

            Jitsui’s plans for the rest of his first day back didn’t go as he’d planned for after he woke up either.  But the day didn’t go badly by any means.

            The previous night, on the drive home from Yokohama, Yuuki had complimented all of the spies present: Jitsui, Kaminaga, and Hatano.  Open praise from their boss was very rare, so Jitsui and Kaminaga had savored in it.  But Hatano being Hatano had decided it meant this was the perfect opportunity to convince Yuuki into taking them out for ice cream.  Then Yuuki had made an offhand comment, agreeing to take them out the next day.  Since, at the time, it was after 3:00 AM and just about everything was long since closed for the night.  Jitsui had thought that was a joke.  The Demon King taking his spies out for ice cream?  But it turned out that Yuuki had been serious when he’d agreed. 

            Hatano was the one who shook Jitsui awake for the event, ten minutes before one o’clock, which was the time Yuuki had told them they would leave the agency.  His touch startled Jitsui out of a bad dream he’d been in the middle of, where Hatano had disappeared in the middle of last night’s mission, and Jitsui had been running around Shirahata-san’s estate looking for him frantically.

            “Hey,” Hatano said, when Jitsui opened his eyes and looked up calmly at his friend.  Jitsui made sure not to let any trace of his fear from the dream show on his face now that he was awake.  “Sorry, but it’s time to get up.  Yuuki-san promised to take us out for ice cream, remember?”

            “He wasn’t joking?” asked Jitsui.

            “He just sent me up to make sure you were awake,” said Hatano.  He perched on the edge of Jitsui’s bed.  “Tazaki just got back.  He’s coming too.  So are Amari and Emma-chan.  She’s anxious to meet you.”

            Jitsui still couldn’t believe that Amari had adopted a daughter.  Or that Lt. Colonel Yuuki had allowed it.  If he’d been around to place wagers, his money would have been on Amari’s next assignment being a trip to the orphanage, followed by a full week of chemical reconditioning to stamp out whatever lingering attachments he had to the girl he’d just picked up.  Or else he would have bet that Amari would be retiring from the spy life.  But it seemed like Emma was here to stay and Amari with her.  It was still hard for Jitsui to wrap his mind around.  The only thing plausible explanation was that he and Hatano had proven a little too well just how useful having under aged spies could be, and so Yuuki had decided to start training a replacement for them even earlier.

            Well, he mentally admitted, it would have been Hatano’s performance rather than his own that would have made Yuuki think that way.  Yuuki had made the decision before Jitsui’s own mission was completed.  But thinking back on it, Hatano’s mission had a lot of complications.  Jitsui still hadn’t gotten the whole story from his friend.  There had been no time.  On the drive back to D-Agency, Yuuki and Kaminaga had both been in the car.  Jitsui and Hatano would have chattered back and forth about anything and everything if it had just been Kaminaga with them, but neither felt like he could speak so freely in front of Lt. Colonel Yuuki.  Then Hatano had fallen asleep while Jitsui was being debriefed.  And Jitsui had only just woken up now.  But from what he’d gathered from the previous night’s conversation with Kaminaga and Fukumoto, Hatano’s mission had gone very sideways, and Yuuki had been right there to see it.

            “Jitsui?  Hey?  Are you alright?”  Hatano waved a hand in front of his face.

            “Hm?  Yes, I’m fine.”

            “You better hurry and get dressed,” said Hatano.  “Do you still have clothes here?”

            “In my foot locker,” said Jitsui, tossing his covers aside and reaching toward the nightstand, for his glasses.  Then he stopped as he remembered.  His role as Morishima Kunio was finished.  He was back to being Jitsui, D-Agency spy.  It was the role he preferred.

            In the time it took him to realize that, Hatano had opened up his foot locker and started pulling out his things.  “These shirts are all folded kind of weird.  They’ll have creases in the wrong place.”

            “Hm?” Jitsui crawled to the foot of his bed to stare down in his locker, frowning crossly. “I didn’t fold them like that.  Who went through my things?”

            “I dunno.  Did you have anything in here any of us would want to borrow?” asked Hatano.

            “Oh.”  Jitsui closed his eyes.  “Kaminaga.”

            “He’s not exactly your size.”

            “No.  But we were talking about photography on one of my check ins, and I mentioned a murder mystery I owned where the main character is a photographer.  I said that he could borrow it.”

            “Did you leave any shirts hanging with your suits in the closet?” Hatano asked.

            “No.  I guess I’ll just have to wear one of the creased ones.  My waist coats will cover the worst of the creases.”

            “Yuuki-san said for us to dress casually,” said Hatano.  And Jitsui saw now that he looked that Hatano was in casual-cut trousers, and a plain button down shirt.  With his usual suspenders.  “I’ll loan you a shirt.  We can iron yours today when we get back.”

            “Thank you,” Jitsui said.  He started unbuttoning his sleep shirt.  By the time he had it undone, Hatano was there with another shirt for him to put on.

            “It’s my largest shirt.  And you’re not that much bigger than me, so it should fit you fine.”

            “Thank you,” said Jitsui, accepting it gratefully.

            “I’m going to run downstairs and let Yuuki-san know you’re up,” said Hatano.  “Unless you need anything else before I go?”

            “I think I’m okay.”

            Hatano flashed a smile, then darted out the door.  He was moving well, Jitsui saw.  Every member of D-Agency had their own sort of grace.  Hatano had always moved like a panther, in Jitsui’s opinion.  Even when he was being casual, his every movement was full of athletic strength.  Jitsui took it as a good sign that Hatano’s movements seemed normal for him.  He was still worried about his head injuries and would be for awhile, but it was good to see Hatano looking like he was okay.

            Aware of his dwindling timeframe, Jitsui pulled off his sleep shirt and pulled Hatano’s shirt on.  But then he paused as he breathed in the fabric’s scent.  The shirt was clean, make no mistake.  Jitsui could smell that it had been freshly laundered.  But this was one of Hatano’s older shirts, and one that he had worn so much that his own scent permeated the fabric.  The warm, airy smell reminded Jitsui of sunshine, and it took a lot of willpower not to hold the fabric up to his face and just inhale.  Jitsui smiled as he finished buttoning it up.  It was just so damn good to be home.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

            Emma was a doll.  Jitsui could see why everyone was so taken with her.  Though it still didn’t explain what a toddler was doing in a spy training facility, but Jitsui decided not to let it bother him.  It wasn’t his call and at the moment she didn’t seem to be a problem.

            “Emma-chan,” Hatano said, hoisting the tiny girl onto his hip, and carrying her over to Jitsui.  “Meet your other big brother, Jitsui.  Jitsui, this is Emma-chan.”

            “Hello,” said Jitsui, smiling at her gently.

            Emma immediately brightened and reached out her hands toward him.  Hatano handed her off to Jitsui, who hoisted her onto his own hip.

            “Hello!” Emma said happily, wrapping her arms around his neck, accepting him already.

            Jitsui had expected nothing less.  The rule of ages continued to work in his favor, where kids were concerned.  While the older spies had to resort to tricks and subtle bribes to get children on their side, all it took from Jitsui and Hatano was a smile, and they were eating out of the palm of their hands.  Friendly, pretty-faced big kids were much less intimidating than full grown men. 

            “Are you ready to go out for some ice cream, Emma-chan?” Jitsui asked her kindly.

            “Yes!  Big brother Hatano said Grandfather Yuuki is taking us out because you did such a good job last night, and to make sure to thank you!” said Emma.  But then confusion colored her cerulean eyes.  “But he didn’t say what you did such a good job at.”

            “There were some bad men who wanted to hurt a kind old man,” said Jitsui.  “I helped stop them.  But your big brothers Hatano and Kaminaga helped too.  So did Lt. Colonel Yuuki.”

            Emma giggled.  “Kaminaga isn’t my big brother, silly.”

            “Oh, I’m sorry,” said Jitsui, seeing out the corner of his eye that Kaminaga had just entered.  “Other Grandfather Kaminaga, I mean.”

            “Hey!  I’m her uncle, I’ll have you know!” said Kaminaga, as Hatano and Emma burst into laughter.  “Her uncle!”

            “I don’t know, Kaminaga,” said Amari as he and Tazaki joined them.  “She already has a lot of uncles.  Uncle Fukumoto.  Uncle Tazaki.  Uncle Miyoshi, when he comes home again.  Uncle Odagiri, even though he’s going to be away for awhile too.  But she only has one grandfather.  Maybe it would be easier if you took on that role instead.”

            “After all, everyone’s entitled to two grandfathers,” said Hatano cheekily.

            “No one here respects me,” Kaminaga moaned.  But when he held out his arms for Emma, she reached back toward him, so Jitsui handed her over willingly.

            “She’s cute, neh?” Hatano asked Jitsui, as they set off down the street together, minutes later, the two of them walking just a few paces in front of Yuuki, while Amari, Tazaki, Fukumoto, and Emma, walked down the other side of the street, about a minute and a half ahead of them, and Kaminaga was somewhere behind them.

            Just like one of D-Agency’s official operations, this trip to the ice cream parlor was being done in a way that would draw less attention than a whole large group of randomly aged people showing up all at once.  Amari, Tazaki, and Fukumoto were in the roles of three coworkers, plus Amari’s daughter, who had already gotten lunch, but had stopped at the ice cream shop so that Amari could indulge his young daughter.  Yuuki’s role was of a grandfather, taking his two grandsons out for a treat.  Kaminaga, when he arrived, would be Hatano’s high school teacher, who had just run into his favorite student at the ice cream parlor by chance.

            Trust Yuuki to make a trip out for ice cream into an exercise for spies. 

            “She’s cute,” Jitsui answered Hatano’s question.  “But does she understand what’s going on?”

            “To an extent,” said Hatano.  “In her mind, these roles are a kind of game.  If she talks to the wrong uncle or brother in the wrong kind of way, while we’re playing the game, she loses.  And she hates losing.  She’s only blown someone’s cover once, and never again.”

            “And Amari’s alright with this?” asked Jitsui.  He didn’t elaborate on why.  It was obvious that this could be perceived as training.  And Jitsui hadn’t missed the look on Amari’s face, when he looked at his adopted daughter.  He truly thought of her as his. 

            “He’s alright with it for now,” said Hatano.  “If Yuuki-san decides to break out the chemical conditioning cocktails for her any time this decade, that’ll be another story.  But this isn’t hurting anything.  And it’s a useful exercise for more than just espionage.  When she grows up, Emma could be an amazing conwoman.  Or actress.”

            “I wonder which one Amari would prefer,” Jitsui mused, and was pleased to see Hatano’s eyes crinkle around the edges with mirth.  “But I’m really surprised.  Amari taking in a child like this.”

            Yuuki was walking too close to them for Jitsui to be comfortable calling into question the wisdom of this, or why it was allowed.  But Jitsui had plenty of other questions on the topic.

            “He really intends to be a father to Emma?” Jitsui asked.  “I mean, he’s in this for the long haul?”

            “Yes,” Hatano said.  “Yuuki-san gave him some options.  Amari’s not stepping down, but he has taken a step back.  Deep undercover is off the table for him.  Mid-grade undercover too, at least for the foreseeable future.  He’ll be working mostly as a handler now, with the odd more involved mission mixed in here and there.”

            “Hm,” mused Jitsui.  “And that’s really okay?  Aren’t there a lot of us out of the field right now?  Do we even have anyone left who’s still in deep cover?”

            “Miyoshi,” said Hatano.  “And Odagiri – kind of.  But he’s not so much undercover as he is just being a source.  I think Yuuki-san’s working on something for Kaminaga.  But the war is escalating.  So it’s harder to place us now with everyone watching out for spies, and Yuuki-san’s obviously not going to just throw us out there just for the sake of trying to make it look like we’re doing something.  You’ll probably get a new assignment pretty quickly.  Our baby faces are the best things we’ve got going for us right now.  But I’m stuck here for at least half a year, on the injured list, on account of that amnesia incident in France.”  Hatano finished, sounding good natured, but Jitsui knew him well enough to detect a note of bitterness in his voice.

            “How bad was it?” asked Jitsui.

            Hatano gave a slight shrug.  “It could have been much worse.”

            You’re lying, thought Jitsui, but he was careful to keep his thoughts out of his expression.  “I’m glad it wasn’t,” he said.

            Hatano glanced at him sideways, and Jitsui knew that Hatano had seen through him.  He knew that Jitsui was aware that things had been very bad.

            “You fell asleep at the kitchen table last night,” said Jitsui by way of explanation.

            “Oh.  Sorry.”  Hatano folded his hands behind his head as he walked.  “I guess I worried you.”

            “You wouldn’t wake up.  I thought you’d been poisoned,” said Jitsui.

            “By Wind Agency?” scoffed Hatano.  “Please.”

            “You wouldn’t wake up,” Jitsui repeated.

            Hatano’s expression fell slightly.  They walked a few steps in silence.  “Sorry,” Hatano said finally.

            “It’s alright.  Kaminaga came in and stopped me before I woke up the whole agency.  Or incurred the five mile night swim penalty.”  Jitsui couldn’t help but let a little bit of reproach slip into his voice.

            “I didn’t really have a chance to tell you what all was wrong,” Hatano said defensively. 

            “I’m not blaming you,” said Jitsui quickly.  “You’re right, we never had a chance to talk.  And I don’t want to fight with you about this.”

            “We’re not fighting.”

            “We will be if you lie to me.”

            Hatano blinked slowly.  They walked for about half a minute in silence.

            “I just didn’t want you to worry,” Hatano said finally, breaking the silence again.  “Because I’m not going to be able to tell you all about it until we get back.  And I wanted us to have a good time today.  Because we may never have a chance like this again.  Yuuki-san taking us out for ice cream, that is.”

            Jitsui’s lips twitched into a smile.

            “Forgive me?” Hatano asked.

            “Of course.”

            Hatano’s face brightened.

            “But only because I know Kaminaga will fill in all the embarrassing details that you’ll be leaving out.”

            At that, Hatano scowled.  But only for a moment.  Then his expression went back to being good natured.  “You better sit down and grab a drink, before you ask him.  He’ll be at it for awhile.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

            The ice cream trip went well.  It felt a little surreal to Jitsui, standing in line behind Amari’s group in the ice cream parlor.  Then being at the counter while Yuuki ordered for him and Hatano.  Then chatting with Kaminaga over ice cream sundaes when he arrived.  Jitsui couldn’t help but feel a little sad about the subterfuge.  He remembered back to the days when D-Agency’s eight graduates used to go out together nearly every night.  But things were changing, thanks to the war.  Now large groups of non-military men attracted attention, and even animosity, what with the imperialist propaganda being shoved down everyone’s throats.  This was how it had to be now.  The only place they could all be together, interacting with each other, was now the agency.

            It was still a good time.  But Jitsui couldn’t believe some of the things Hatano did around Lt. Colonel Yuuki.  Or said to him.  Like convincing Yuuki to buy him the most expensive thing on the menu.  And then cajoling Yuuki into having a bite, by taking a heaping spoonful and waving it around in Yuuki’s face until Yuuki consented.  Though he didn’t let Hatano feed it to him.  He took the spoon in his hand and fed himself.

            Jitsui wondered if Hatano had a death wish.  He’d always been impudent, but he usually toned it down around Lt. Colonel Yuuki.  Jitsui supposed that he could argue, if it looked like he was going to get in trouble, that the role he’d chosen was the sort of ill-behaved grandson who did things like that, but Jitsui still didn’t think that would fly with Yuuki-san.  But if Hatano did get in any trouble for it, Jitsui never saw or heard. 

            Back home at the agency, Jitsui and Hatano finally had some time to sit down and talk.  Or at least they should have.  But Amari had to go out on an errand for Yuuki, and they ended up having to babysit Emma.  She was a doll, yes, but Jitsui just wanted to have a serious conversation with his best friend.  He couldn’t do that with a little girl toddler constantly demanding both of their attention and asking tons of questions.  But it was hard to be mad or even annoyed with her.  She was adorable.  And she clearly loved Hatano.  After an hour and a half, she ended up falling asleep in his arms.  And rather than put her down, Hatano continued holding her in his lap.  That made for a heart melting sight.  But something about it made Jitsui slightly uneasy.

            “You get along well with her,” he commented, idly.

            “Those childcare lessons during training were useful after all,” said Hatano, smirking.

            “More like child manipulation lessons,” said Jitsui with a slight laugh.  “But you’re not really manipulating her.  You’re getting along with her for real.  I can tell the difference you know.  Especially since it’s you.”

            Hatano looked down at Emma’s sleeping face.  “She’s hard not to like.”

            “Do you want kids someday?” Jitsui asked, as casually as he could.

            He thought he was prepared for any answer.  But Hatano’s bitter laugh caught him off guard.

            “No way.  Never.”

            Jitsui’s couldn’t hide his surprise.  More at Hatano’s tone than his words.  “Why not?  You’re good with her.  And she obviously makes you happy.  Wouldn’t your own daughter or son make you even happier?”

            There was nothing happy about the smile Hatano flashed Jitsui.  “You know what my father was like.”

            Jitsui knew.  He wasn’t supposed to.  Speaking of their true pasts was prohibited in D-Agency.  Back during training, it was an offense that merited being expelled.  But there were some things that couldn’t be hidden so easily.  So all seven of the other D-Agency graduates knew that Hatano had been abused, growing up.  His father was naturally the prime suspect.  Jitsui thought he was the only one who actually had confirmation of that, thanks to some of Hatano’s ramblings when he’d been under the influence of truth serum. 

            “You’re not your father,” said Jitsui, suddenly feeling conflicted.

            “His blood runs through my veins,” countered Hatano.

            “You sharing DNA with him does not make you him,” argued Jitsui.

            “But it makes me more likely to inherit his traits,” said Hatano.  “Which I inherited a lot of.  I look like him in miniature, and I know I’ve got his temper.”

            “But you have your own control.”  It was true Hatano was quick to be annoyed, but slow to act on it.  He thought things through carefully, and didn’t let his emotions guide him.

            “For now.  It could easily deteriorate as I get older,” said Hatano.  “It’s better that I never have children.”

            “You shouldn’t let that fear stop you if a family is what you want,” said Jitsui.  “Especially since you know how it feels to be . . . in that position.  You would never put your children in that position.”

            Hatano stared at Jitsui for several seconds, then glanced at the door, as though making sure no one was there, before he looked back at his friend.  “My grandfather used to beat my father.”

            Jitsui frowned.

            “At least that’s what he told me.  I never met the man.  But I can easily believe it.  And I’m sure my father swore to himself that he’d never hurt his own children if he ever had any.  But after I hit age four, right up until I graduated from high school, I never went more than a month or two without getting at least one broken bone.  Usually my ribs, since those didn’t show so much.  But he broke my arms and legs over the years too.”  Hatano’s voice sounded dead as he confessed this.  And he didn’t look at Jitsui.

            Jitsui’s mind stored away the fact that Hatano had just answered a question that had long been a subject of debate amongst his fellow spies.  Most of them didn’t think Hatano had graduated high school.  He’d seemed too young at the start of their training.  Now Hatano just confirmed that he had.  Which meant he was either older than Jitsui had thought and just looked even younger for their age than even Jitsui did, or he’d graduated early, and was still a year or more younger than Jitsui, like Jitsui had always thought.

            “The only way I can be absolutely sure that I won’t become the kind of father that my father was, is if I never become a father at all,” said Hatano.  “And I’m okay with that.  Anything to not turn into him.”

            Jitsui didn’t know what to say.  His best friend looked so miserable and he knew that he should be trying to find some way to make him stop looking like that.  But at the same time there was something so aesthetic about him looking that way that Jitsui couldn’t tear his eyes away.

            Hatano finally looked back at Jitsui and mistook his entrancement as pity.

            “But hey, it’s not like chances are high that I’d be able to have kids even if I wanted any,” he said, forcing cheer into his voice.  “What woman would want to marry me?”

            “You’re joking, right?” asked Jitsui.  “Haven’t you looked in a mirror lately?”

            One of the preliminary requirements for getting into D-Agency’s training had been good looks.  It was just a fact that the better looking you were, the easier it was to seduce a target.  Or simply charm someone, even if they weren’t interested in sleeping with you.  All eight of D-Agency’s graduates were far better than average looking by any normal person’s opinion.  Most people wouldn’t be amiss to classifying them as gorgeous.  But to Jitsui, Hatano had always stood out, head and shoulders above the rest of them.  Even Miyoshi.  He just had this glow, like there was sunshine pouring out of his soul.

            Hatano forced a laugh and lightly kicked at Jitsui’s ankle, being careful not to jostle the sleeping child in his lap as he did that.  “I said marry me, not just screw me.  Do you not remember how horrible my personality is?  Can you imagine shacking up with me?”

            Jitsui could.  And he couldn’t, with any honesty at all, say that the idea of it was unappealing.  Living with Hatano, day in and day out.  Seeing him everyday.  Falling asleep in the same bed as him every night, tangled up with him, drawing off his warmth, and waking up in his arms every morning.  Talking, laughing, teasing.  Their own place, not that D-Agency wasn’t great, but their lives really weren’t their own there, and worse, there really was no privacy there.  The dorm belonged to all eight of them.  The showers were even less private, just four showerheads on a tile wall, with drains on the tile floor, and no partitions between them.  If they were in a relationship, there would never be a good time to be intimate.  So their own place would have been a must.  Somewhere where he could take Hatano in his arms, and force him against a wall, pressing his own body into Hatano’s smaller one, hard enough to hold him in place there, while his lips captured Hatano’s, and his hands roamed all over the smaller boy, snaking their way underneath his clothes to feel every inch of the smooth warm skin that covered his body . . .

            “Jitsui?  Hey?  Jitsui?”

            Jitsui was suddenly brought back to the present.  He blinked his slightly unfocused eyes, until he was able to zero in on Hatano.

            “Are you alright?” asked Hatano.

            “Oh.  Yes.”

            Hatano smirked.  “You zoned out on me there.  Was the idea of shacking up with me so traumatizing?”

            “No,” Jitsui said simply.  And he locked eyes with his best friend, willing him to understand.

            He thought it was the lack of elaboration that made it get through to Hatano.  Because Hatano seemed to wait a few second for him to say more.  And when he didn’t, confusion, then embarrassment flickered in fast succession over his face.

            “W-what are you saying?” Hatano looked flustered.  And adorable.

            “You were the one who told me to imagine shacking up with you,” said Jitsui, smirking.

            “W-what?  No, I asked could you imagine it.  I didn’t tell you to imagine it,” said Hatano.

            “Hm, too late,” teased Jitsui. 

            Hatano’s cheeks grew a little rosy, but he quickly pulled himself together and tried to joke his embarrassment off.  “Well, shacking up with another man . . . that would be one way to avoid the risk of children.”

            “Though not for lack of trying,” Jitsui said.

            “Huh?  That doesn’t make sense,” said Hatano.  “It’s biologically impossible, no matter how hard two men try.”

            “And I’m telling you, if we shacked up, I wouldn’t accept that as an excuse not to try,” said Jitsui, and was rewarded when Hatano flushed again.

            Things could have gotten very interesting from there.  Jitsui was considering all the ways he could get Hatano to wear that adorable flush again.  But Emma had to choose that moment to stir.  Not wake.  Just stir, tossing about in Hatano’s arms, and mumbling in her sleep.

            Hatano jumped and stared down at her, then back at Jitsui, looking guilty.  It was kind of cute how he clearly felt dirty, for even letting his mind wander toward thoughts of shacking up with Jitsui while he was holding a child.  But mostly it was annoying.  Who the hell did Amari think he was, forcing them to be a babysitter for his mission souvenir?  Why couldn’t they just take her to her room, or wherever Amari kept her caged up at night, and leave her to nap there?

            “I’d forgotten what a horrible person you were,” said Hatano softly, smiling at Jitsui. 

            Jitsui wanted to spit and curse.  That delicious tension that had been building between them was gone now, thanks to Amari’s brat.  They were back to easy banter, like they’d always been good at, and Jitsui had always loved being able to go back and forth with Hatano like that, but at that moment he hated it. 

            “Don’t worry.  I’ll do my best to help you remember,” Jitsui said to him, and he tried not to feel too resentful.  This was the first day he’d spent with Hatano in over a year.  Getting back to where they’d been before should have been his priority.  Not . . . well, he didn’t even know what he’d been thinking his priority should be, just then.  Or how Hatano would feel about that. 

            “That’s what I’m afraid of,” Hatano said.  And for just a moment, there was a flicker of something beautiful and apprehensive in his eyes, that reminded Jitsui of how he’d looked that day so long ago, when Jitsui had given him a torture and truth serum trial.  It was a look of vulnerability, that sent a pang through Jitsui’s heart.  It also made Jitsui realize what that new priority for Hatano had been.  And now was.  And that priority was more.  He wanted more of Hatano, any way he could get it. 

 

* * *

 

Notes: My first time writing Emma. I hope I did alright. :P Also, just as an announcement, I’ll be going on hiatus for a week or two, sometime after Sunday. I’m moving out of my apartment and into a house that I’m renting with my roommates, and there will be a lot of stuff to set up. Not the least of them being the internet. But make no mistake, I will be back to inflict more Jitano on the fandom!

 


	3. Chapter 3

            When he had time to think about it, Jitsui started to feel bad about what he’d wanted.  Hatano was his best friend.  The best friend he’d ever had.  And even though it was natural to want to spend as much time with him as possible, Jitsui knew it was wrong to be thinking in terms of trying to take more of Hatano however he could get him.  He needed to think about what was best for Hatano.

            Even though Hatano came across as callous and sarcastic, impudent, cheeky, and generally too cool to care, Jitsui knew him better than that.  He still remembered Hatano’s truth serum induced confession from near the end of their training.  In it, Hatano had confessed that he loved Jitsui.  But he hadn’t known what kind of love it was, because he’d never loved anyone before.  He thought it might be the kind of love you had for a brother.  Except he thought that he’d started to feel that for the other spies too, and he’d said that what he felt for Jitsui was stronger than that.

            And he’d been terrified of Jitsui, Jitsui remembered.  Because he recognized that loving someone gave them the power to hurt you. 

            Only three people in the world knew what had gone on during that torture/training session.  Jitsui, Hatano, and Yuuki, who had personally monitored all of the torture sessions to make sure no one went too far.  The other spies had found out a few less important details later on.  Like how when Jitsui finally got around to actually torturing Hatano, he’d shoved a whole yellow lantern chili pepper into Hatano’s mouth and kept his hand over Hatano’s mouth, covering it as he screamed and thrashed, so that Hatano couldn’t spit it out.  And they’d seen how the natural chemicals in the pepper had blistered Hatano’s tongue and burned patches of skin out of the inside of his mouth.  But they knew more had gone on than just that.  Because Hatano had bounced right back from every other torture session with everyone else.  Even the one where an idiot who’d shortly after been cut named Hourai had cracked his ribs.  Even the one where Fukumoto had taken water torture a step too far, and had needed Yuuki-san’s help bringing Hatano back.  It had taken Hatano some time to get past the vulnerability he’d shown Jitsui.  Even though they’d still shared a bed each night for warmth, for a few days afterward things were strained between them while they were awake.  The other spies had worried that Jitsui had broken Hatano.  But Jitsui had known they’d eventually be okay.  He’d known because Hatano had let Jitsui be the one to hold him during those nights, instead of being the one holding Jitsui, like always before.

            Jitsui knew it was important to remember what he’d learned from that incident.  Hatano feared no physical pain.  But he was terrified of letting people in.  Any changes to their relationship would have to be taken slowly.  And they would have to be worth the risk of backsliding.  When he thought about it, Jitsui wasn’t sure that they were.

            Make no mistake, he cared about Hatano.  More than anyone else in the world.  He loved the younger boy.  In many different ways.  And on some level, Jitsui guessed he’d always known that he found Hatano physically attractive with more than just a passing interest.  But now he found himself lusting after his best friend, and he wasn’t sure how that fit in with everything.  He didn’t know if it was good for Hatano.  Because Jitsui knew he had some urges that weren’t considered normal. 

            He liked seeing people in pain.  And if he was the one to cause it, so much the better.  Sadism was something they’d learned about in their seduction classes.  Jitsui had recognized how aptly the textbook definition applied to his own desires.  It wasn’t that he wanted to go around hurting people all the time.  And he certainly didn’t want to hurt Hatano.  But when he saw someone in pain, he wanted, needed, to see them hurt more.  And he knew it would be no different with Hatano.  When he’d seen Hatano hurting in the past, he’d always thought it beautiful beyond words.  That moment, during Hatano’s truth serum confession, when Jitsui realized his friend was on the verge of shattering, he had almost let it happen just because it was so beautiful, and he had really wanted to watch.  He almost hadn’t put a stop to it in time.

            If he tried to take more of Hatano, he worried that he would go too far.  He feared that they would start off alright, but then it would devolve into something he couldn’t control.  Like a simple kiss would turn into a struggle for dominance, and the next thing Jitsui would know, he would be bearing down on Hatano, pinning the younger boy beneath him, and going further and faster than Hatano was ready for, while Hatano squirmed and protested beneath him, brain too rattled from his own hormones to form coherent words or fight back as Jitsui made his body melt.  And Jitsui would miss the signs that Hatano didn’t want this, and wasn’t ready to move so fast, because all he would see was Hatano looking more and more brokenly beautiful, as he served him up portions of pleasure and pain in equal measure, kissing and nipping in every sensitive spot he knew, and making Hatano’s breaths come in shaking gasps, as he was overwhelmed by it all, and fracturing a little more with each passing second.  And Jitsui worried that even when he realized that Hatano didn’t want this, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself and pry himself away, even though he knew he needed to, and that every second he didn’t was a betrayal of the love and trust Hatano placed in him.  Because he knew, he just knew, that Hatano would look so beautiful, laying there breaking beneath him, tempting him to take more and more.

            “Jitsui?  Hey?  Jitsui?”

            Jitsui was startled out of his thoughts, and looked up at Kaminaga, trying not to flush.

            “Are you alright?” asked Kaminaga, coming closer, looking a little worried.

            “Yes.  I’m fine,” said Jitsui.  “What can I do for you?”

            Kaminaga didn’t look convinced.  But neither did he press the issue.  “We’re going out for dinner.  Grab your jacket.”

            Jitsui almost rose to obey.  Then he thought better of it.  His head wasn’t on straight.  He needed time to get his thoughts sorted out.  And he wasn’t going to be able to do that if he went out with the other spies.  Especially not with Hatano there.  Don’t get him wrong, he loved hanging out with them all.  It was like having a big family that actually understood him.  But they were all trained to dissect peoples’ thoughts.  And he didn’t want them doing that to him right then.  Especially not Hatano.  Or in front of Hatano.

            “I’m sorry, but I think I’ll stay in tonight,” said Jitsui.  “I’m feeling a bit tired.”

            Kaminaga nodded his understanding.  “It’s a bit draining, isn’t it?  Coming back home after a mission.  A good kind of draining.  But still draining.”

            “Yes,” Jitsui agreed.  “Like your subconscious is suddenly telling you that you don’t have to be on guard every second of the day.  Then you realize just how exhausting it’s been keeping your guard up for so long.”

            Kaminaga started for the door.  “There’s boiled eggs in the white basket, in the icebox.  Not the wire basket.  Those are raw.  And there’s probably some rice left over from breakfast in the pot.  Make sure you eat something.  And no, I’m not trying to mother you.  Yuuki-san’s giving you tomorrow off too, but then your reconditioning hell starts.”

            “Thanks for the warning,” said Jitsui.  Then when Kaminaga was gone again, he sank back into his chair with a sigh.  His book lay in his lap, long forgotten, as he contemplated the mess that he found himself in.  Falling in love with his best friend was bad enough.  But considering the kind of person he was . . . and the kind of upbringing Hatano had been cursed with.  That just made it all even worse.

            I’m not good for him, Jitsui thought sadly, and tried to force a sense of finality into his thoughts as he decided this. 

            But I want him, a part of his mind rebelled.

            I want him too much, he argued.  I’ll break him.  I love him too much to risk that.

            But I _want_ him.

            Jitsui closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to rid himself of those traitorous thoughts.  He was a D-Agency spy.  He needed to be in complete control of his mind and his body.  He was better than this.

            The reconditioning will help, he told himself.  Especially the chemical reconditioning.  Lt. Colonel Yuuki used a number of drugs on them that left them more open to suggestions.  They let him reach their subconsciouses to imprint their prime directives more thoroughly.  Don’t die, don’t kill.  Prioritize your life and freedom before the mission.  And the like.  The drugs also let him build safeguards around certain pieces of information.  He called it layering their subconsciousness.  Jitsui thought it was more like building a mental wall around what was most important.  But either way, it was a metaphor, nothing more.  It didn’t matter how they referred to it, as long as it worked.  And it did work.  In training, Jitsui and all the others had been tested with truth serum at least eight times, and tortured at least seven.  None of them had revealed where they trained or the name of their instructor.

            There were side effects to the chemical conditioning.  Ones that none of the spies liked.  Dizziness and nausea, and confusion that lasted for days.  But there were other useful ones.  Like how afterward, the world just seemed so much sharper, and distractions were easier to shrug off.  Jitsui had read the information Yuuki made available to them about the process, and learned that it flushed their brains with the more productive chemicals that their brains produced naturally, and cut down the levels of chemicals that were less important.  Like, for instance, certain hormones that Jitsui could really do with less of right now.

            I can’t believe I’m looking forward to chemical reconditioning, he thought ruefully.  But he was a D-Agency spy, so he was practical.  He recognized the need for it.  And no matter how much he hated the way it made him feel, if it kept him from doing something really stupid and ruining his relationship with his best friend, he would happily accept it.

            “Jitsui?”

            Jitsui’s head snapped up.  “Hatano?  What are you doing here?”

            Hatano was wearing his suit jacket and his fedora hat, like he was ready to go out.  But now he took off his hat, and looked at Jitsui with wider than normal eyes.  “I stayed behind.”

            “Why?” Jitsui demanded.  “You could have gone with the others.”

            “Kaminaga said you weren’t feeling well,” said Hatano.  “So I thought I’d stay with you.”

            Dammit Kaminaga, thought Jitsui.  Some of his frustration must have showed on his face.

            “I didn’t know you specifically wanted to be alone,” said Hatano, stepping backwards.  “Or I would have gone with them.  I just thought –”

            “No, that’s not it,” said Jitsui.  “It’s fine that you’re here.  You just took me by surprise.”

            Relief glowed on Hatano’s face.  He moved toward Jitsui, and reached for his face with one hand.  Jitsui stayed very still, as Hatano’s warm hand pressed against his brow. 

            “Your face is a little flushed.  But you don’t feel hot,” Hatano said.  “Is it just exhaustion?”

            “Yes,” lied Jitsui.  Thankfully, Hatano bought it.

            “You got soft, living as a houseboy for a rich man, didn’t you?” he teased, and withdrew his hand.  “Early to rise, early to bed, and all that conventional nonsense, right?  No staying up until dawn and beating up military men who think they’re spies?”

            “I did think my life was strangely lacking when I was in that role,” said Jitsui, eliciting a laugh from his best friend.

            “Do you mind company?” asked Hatano.  “If you’re really tired and just want some alone time, I get it.”

            “No,” said Jitsui, before he had time to weigh the pros and cons.  “Stay.”

            Hatano smiled.  One of his rare real smiles.  Jitsui felt his soul start to melt a little inside.  Thankfully, real smiles never lasted on Hatano’s face very long, and this time was no exception.  It was quickly replaced with a look of slight concern.

            “How’s your stomach?  Are you feeling a little bit sick?”

            “No,” Jitsui assured him.  “I’m just tired.”

            Hatano nodded.  “How about I fix us some dinner?”

            “But you don’t like to cook,” said Jitsui.

            Hatano smirked.  “I didn’t used to.  I’m alright with it now.  I’ve gotten better.”

            While every member of D-Agency had learned the basics of cooking as part of their training, as well as other domestic tasks that most men deemed beneath them, like sewing buttons back on their clothes, or sewing up rips, only a few of their number really enjoyed the culinary arts, or were very good at them.  Jitsui remembered Hatano only really paying attention to the dangerous parts of cooking, getting side tracked by talking about all the ways he could use different things in the kitchen for various acts of violence, and driving their instructor crazy.  Not that Jitsui had been much better.  And Jitsui himself had used a bit of elaborate planning to make sure that if a cooking schedule was ever set up amongst the spies, he himself would not ever be put on it. 

            But now Hatano was volunteering to fix dinner.  Jitsui didn’t know if he should be worried.

            “You wait here,” said Hatano.  “Rest awhile.  But don’t fall asleep, or I’ll wake you up, because Yuuki-san’s only giving you one more day before you get to go through some intense reconditioning, and you need to eat and be at full strength for that.”

            “I’ll come with you,” said Jitsui.  “Someone has to make sure you don’t blow up the kitchen.”

            “Don’t worry, I got that all out of my system in France,” said Hatano, a sly smile tugging at his mouth.

            Jitsui studied him then shook his head.  “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”

            “I haven’t gotten a chance to tell you about my mission,” said Hatano, heading toward the stairs, as Jitsui followed.

            “That’s right,” said Jitsui.  “Your creampuff mission that wasn’t even a one on a danger scale of one to ten, but that resulted in you being incommunicado for two months, and culminated with you getting three successive head wounds, and brain damage.”

            Hatano glanced sheepishly over his shoulder.  “It really wasn’t as bad as the others probably made it sound.”

            “Lt. Colonel Yuuki put down a new house rule where if anyone wakes you up, they have to swim five miles in the ocean that night,” said Jitsui.  “From the sound of that, I’d say it’s even worse.”

            “Er, things got complicated there at the end,” said Hatano.  “For the first ten months of the year, they were really quiet, and it was definitely a creampuff mission.  It was only after the Nazis invaded that things got interesting.”

            Jitsui decided he should probably stop being overly critical.  “I want to hear all about it.  Even the boring parts.  Tell me how you learned to like cooking.”

            They made it to the kitchen, and Hatano began taking an inventory of available ingredients.

            “Well,” said Hatano, as he started pulling out seemingly random things, a number that Jitsui didn’t even recognize, and setting them on the counter.  “I had to learn.  My student allowance was enough to keep me fed and fed well, but that was kind of the problem.”

            “I don’t understand?”

            “Eating pre-prepared food in France would have kept me fed way too well,” said Hatano. 

            “I remember you being worried about that,” said Jitsui, a smile tugging at his mouth, as he remembered his friend’s concern.  “You were worried about gaining a little weight and not being able to jump kick as high.  But I think that was mostly in your head.”

            “No, no.  The struggle was real,” said Hatano.  Then he suddenly froze, looking startled.

            “What’s wrong?”

            “Maybe that’s what Yuuki-san intended all along,” Hatano growled. 

            “Er, what?”

            “He wanted me to go to France and get chubby, so that when I came back and you all saw me, you’d poke at my stomach and pinch at my cheeks!” said Hatano dramatically, but unable to keep a smirk off his face.  “Yuuki-san, you bastard Demon King!”

            Jitsui laughed and shook his head.  He’d missed Hatano so much.

            “But yes,” Hatano resumed his story.  “I knew going into the mission that food would probably be a problem.  French food is so different from Japanese food.  You would not believe how hard it was to just find a bowl of plain white rice over there.  I accidentally insulted a chef and caused a scene when I requested a bowl and got thrown out of a restaurant.”

            “You’re joking.”

            “No,” said Hatano, and he looked perfectly serious.  “The chefs over there, they consider themselves artists.  And they are, believe me, they are.  But some of them are also psychotic egomaniacs.”

            “So you went and apprenticed yourself to the most evil one you could find?”

            “No, I already did that when I got into the spy game,” said Hatano.  “And Yuuki-san says it’s bad to do the same thing too many times or you establish a pattern.  No, I just started getting stuff and cooking it myself.  At first.  The boarding house where I stayed was well stocked with things like pots and pans, so all I had to buy were ingredients.  I knew the basics, thanks to our classes –”

            “The ones where you spent the whole time talking over the teacher about how to use kitchen stuff to maim people and destroy things?  This ingredient can be blown up.  This tool can cut through bone.”

            “Yes.  Those classes,” said Hatano.  “But don’t knock the lessons that I gave during those classes.  You might use them to save your life one day.  In fact, one of those techniques saved my life in France.”

            “Oh?”

            “That comes later in the story,” said Hatano.  “I’m telling about my growth as a chef right now.”

            “Oh right,” said Jitsui.  “Please continue.”

            Hatano did.  He told Jitsui about sharing kitchen space with others staying at the boarding house and learning a thing or two from them.  And then how the old mother of the boarding house’s owner took a shine to him, and hijacked his cooking sessions, teaching him to make fine French food instead of the light Japanese dishes he’d been trying to make.

            “She was impossible to say no to,” said Hatano, as Jitsui doubled over laughing.  “Believe me, I tried.  I tried very hard.  But . . . she just wouldn’t take no for an answer.  In the end I always ended up letting her teach me, and eating what we made, and then going up to my room and doing a couple hundred sit ups or pushups to work it off.”

            “A couple hundred?” asked Jitsui.  “Isn’t that extreme?”  He remembered Hatano doing lots of exercises, even beyond what their training required.  He had many memories during training of sitting in a chair, reading by a window, while Hatano lay on the ground at his feet, alternating between sit ups, pushups, and stretches.  But usually he focused much more on stretching and did less than a hundred of each of the exercises.

            Hatano closed the oven door, after putting in a muffin tin whose impressions had been lined with dough, and then filled with a mixture of egg, cheese, and ham.  He looked at Jitsui and shrugged.  “Maybe a little.  But I knew I needed to stay in shape.  My martial arts were what always gave me an edge in training.  I’m pretty sure they’re the only thing that even got me into the program in the first place.  I can’t let them go rusty.”

            He continued bustling around the kitchen, switching to work on some vegetables, and then doing something else with egg whites.  Jitsui’s offer to help was waved away good naturedly.  So Jitsui just enjoyed watching him and talking with him.

            And it was the way it used to be, and Jitsui found himself not minding it this time.  He had really, really missed this.  Him and his best friend, just spending time together.  Talking.  Laughing.  Just being.  It was easy, and it was nice.  Jitsui knew he was wrong to want more.  He was greedy to want more.  How could he risk ruining what they had now?

            He listened as Hatano continued on, about the various things he’d done during the first part of his year in France.  The creampuff part of his mission.  Before the Nazis had invaded France.  He had a lot to tell.  He’d met so many people and done so much.  Even by the time he was pulling the muffin tin out of the oven, replacing it with a pan of beaten egg whites that he’d spooned into little circle nests, and plating up a mix of sautéed vegetables with an herby-lemony sauce, Jitsui had the feeling that he had barely scratched the surface of his time in France.  And he hadn’t gotten anywhere close to telling Jitsui about what happened once the Nazis invaded. 

            “What is this?” asked Jitsui, as Hatano handed him a plate with two little tartlets of that cooked egg, cheese, and ham concoction, alongside the vegetables in their sharp smelling sauce.  “A pie?”

            “It’s called a quiche,” said Hatano.  “They’re a savory eggs and cream dish, cooked inside a pastry shell.  You can add anything you want to them.  And I remembered you liked ham.”

            “And the vegetables?” asked Jitsui.  “What are they?”

            “Uh, they don’t actually have a name,” said Hatano.  “Or if they do, I don’t know it.  They’re just vegetables.  With a lemon-butter-herb sauce.”  He leaned down over the table to rest one elbow on it and then rested his chin in his hand.  Something that was horrible table manners, but that Jitsui had always found endearing.  “I like that sauce.  It’s easy and it tastes good.  At least to me.  But who knows, you might hate it.”

            “Never,” promised Jitsui, and he took a bite. 

            Just as he’d expected, it was really good.  The vegetables were just the right balance between soft and crisp.  And the sauce really was delicious.  It was sharp and tangy, but also savory.  The quiche was even better.  The crust was flaky and melted on Jitsui’s tongue.  And the saltiness of the ham blended well with the creaminess of the egg and cheese. 

            “This is so good,” said Jitsui, as he set about devouring his meal.

            Then Hatano went and ruined everything.  He flashed his real smile again.  The one that made him look like he was glowing with sunshine, and made Jitsui want to reach across the table, and grab his tie, and yank him forward so he could bite down on his lips and hear Hatano cry out in shock.

            Jitsui swallowed thickly and turned his gaze back down to his plate.

            “Tired?” asked Hatano, misinterpreting his reaction.  “Shall I make us some coffee?”

            “No thank you,” said Jitsui.  Hatano hated coffee.  He remembered that much.  Even if he was tired and wanted a cup, he wouldn’t bother Hatano to make it for him.  But fatigue wasn’t Jitsui’s problem right now anyway.

            They ate in silence for several minutes.  Hatano was well mannered enough to at least not to talk and chew at the same time.  But he ate less than Jitsui, Jitsui noticed.  So naturally, he finished first.

            “I feel kind of like I said something wrong,” said Hatano.  “But I’m not sure what.”

            “What?” asked Jitsui, deciding to play dumb.

            Hatano studied him.  Then gave him a look that made it clear he knew Jitsui was hiding something.  “I said something to upset you.  Or did something.  But I don’t know what.”

            “You didn’t do anything wrong,” said Jitsui quickly.

            “But something’s wrong,” Hatano insisted.

            “Nothing’s wrong.  At least not with me,” said Jitsui.  “I’m sorry if I made you think there was.  I . . . I’m just really tired.  And I was really hungry too.  I guess I was able to forget my fatigue for awhile because of the food.  But it’s coming back, I guess.”

            Hatano didn’t completely buy that.  But he decided to accept it.  “Well, I hope you can stay awake long enough for dessert,” he said.  Then he went to the oven and pulled out the tray he’d put in when he took out the quiches.  The little circle nests of beaten egg whites had solidified into . . . Jitsui wasn’t sure what they were.  They were like a cross between cookies and tiny cakes.

            “What are those?” he asked, trying to get back to where he had been before, when he could just focus on the food, and not how hungry he really was for something else.  For someone, actually.

            “Meringues,” said Hatano.  “They need to cool a little bit.  And I need to fix the topping.”

            He hopped up and went to work again.  Jitsui watched him.  He couldn’t help himself.  Anymore than he could help himself from falling even harder when he realized what kind of topping Hatano was making for the meringues.  And why.  He doubted that pineapples and coconuts were staples of French cooking.  But Hatano had somehow procured a tin of crushed pineapple, and another of cream of coconut, and he was beating them into a small bowl of cream.

            Jitsui had never revealed anything personal about his background to the others.  That was forbidden.  But there was plenty they’d all figured out about each other, in their time together.  Jitsui guessed that some of the things he’d said and done must have given his friends the hint that he hadn’t grown up in Japan like they had.  He wondered if they actually knew he’d grown up in Hawaii, or just knew he’d lived on one of the islands in the South Pacific.  His respect was too high for him to think they’d just noticed how much he loved tropical fruits, and that they hadn’t put more pieces together.

            “Here!” Hatano literally sang out, thumping down a trey of cream covered meringues the moment Jitsui had finished everything on his dinner plate.  “Just for you!”

            Jitsui did his best to smile and look happy.  He was happy.  He liked that Hatano knew him so well, even though he had never been able to talk about his past with his best friend.

            “Thank you, Hatano.  They look delicious.”

            “Bon appetite,” Hatano said.  Then he frowned.  “Oh wait.  That’s supposed to be said at the beginning of a meal not . . . oh, whatever.  No one cares.” 

            Then he snatched up a meringue off the plate and shoved the whole thing in his mouth.  Probably just because he could.  Jitsui giggled and selected one of the sweets.  He bit into it with a bit more poise than Hatano had exercised.  Then his eyes closed in bliss at the taste.  Because if sunshine had a taste, this would be it.  Sweet, and syrupy smooth, and melty. 

            “Hatano,” Jitsui practically moaned.

            “Hm?”

            Jitsui just shook his head.  There were no words. 

            “You’ve got a little bit of cream on your face,” said Hatano, and Jitsui heard now that his voice was much closer.  “Right here.”

            Hatano’s finger swiped against Jitsui’s cheek, near his mouth.  Jitsui’s eyes snapped open.  His hand snapped forward and he seized Hatano’s wrist.  Before he realized what he was doing, Hatano’s finger was in his mouth, and he was sucking the cream off it.

            Hatano froze.  Then so did Jitsui.  As he watched, he saw Hatano’s eyes dilate.  For several moments neither of them moved.  And a war waged inside Jitsui.

            You need to stop this, the better part of him told him.  Right now.

            But I want this.  And he wants it too, the rest of him growled.

            He doesn’t know what this is, and if he did, he definitely wouldn’t want it.

            His eyes just dilated.  He’s as turned on by this as we are.  Why let it go to waste?

            Because I’ll only hurt him, and he’s been hurt enough for one life!

            “Jitsui,” Hatano whispered hoarsely, still rooted to the spot.  His finger was still in Jitsui’s mouth.  And his eyes were completely dark.  His pupils dilated so big like that made him look so young and childlike.

            That might have been what allowed the better part of Jitsui to win out.  Hatano was too young for what Jitsui wanted to do to him.  He released Hatano and quickly scooted back.

            “Sorry,” he said, forcing a lightness into his tone that he definitely didn’t feel.  “Did I make things weird?”

            Hatano blinked quickly several times then collapsed into his chair.  “What?  No.  No, it’s fine.  We’re fine.  We’re always fine.”

            Jitsui helped himself to another meringue.  It was probably wrong that they still tasted so great after what had just happened.  He’d expected his appetite would have been ruined by what he’d nearly done.  But dammit, the meringues were really, really good.  And they made a nice distraction.

            But it’s not like they could get back to where they had been so easily.  Hatano joined Jitsui in stuffing his face with meringues, and tried to lighten the mood with jokes, but they all fell short.  And Jitsui couldn’t help thinking how easy it would be to shut Hatano up with a kiss, and how delicious that kiss would taste, since Hatano’s mouth would be so sticky sweet with pineapple, meringue, and coconut cream. 

            After a few minutes, Hatano got up and started doing the dishes.  Jitsui couldn’t just stay sitting then, and immediately started to help.  It was something, at least, that they could still work well together.  They made short work of the cleanup task.  But before putting away the last of the food, Hatano plucked three meringues off the tray and put them on a smaller plate.

            “I’m taking these to Yuuki-san,” said Hatano.  “I’ll be right back.”

            Lt. Colonel Yuuki likes sweets? Jitsui thought.  He’d never known that.  But he must.  Hatano wouldn’t waste them on him otherwise.  And he knew that Hatano had quite a sweet tooth too.  He just didn’t often indulge it.  Probably because of his paranoia of losing his athletic edge. 

            A sudden whistle caught Jitsui’s attention.  It actually startled him, made him jump.  He turned and saw that a teakettle had been put to heat on the stove.  Hatano was the only one who could have done that.  Jitsui could only assume this meant his friend wanted tea. 

            So he went to the cabinet where tea was kept, and looked for Hatano’s favorite blend: Zhenghe Gongfu.  A type of red tea with a faint honey taste.  He frowned when he found just about everyone else’s favorites, but not Hatano’s.  To make himself useful, he went and got out two mugs, since both he and Hatano preferred mugs to tea cups. 

            A few seconds later, Hatano bounded back into the kitchen, carrying the plate that he’d taken up to Yuuki.  Except now the plate was empty, which was somewhat interesting.  Hatano looked at what Jitsui had set up so far, then hurried to get the teakettle off the stove.

            “Coffee or tea?” he asked.

            “I put my green tea in my cup,” Jitsui said.  He’d felt a pang in his chest when he’d discovered a fresh box of his favorite brand, right near the front of the cabinet.  “But I didn’t see yours.”

            “I’m having coffee,” said Hatano.  He poured the steaming water into Jitsui’s cup, for him, then quickly fished a French press out from another cabinet and deftly set that up.  Then he poured the rest of the hot water into it, to let the coffee steep.

            “But you hate coffee,” said Jitsui, staring in disbelief.

            Hatano shrugged.  “It’s grown on me.”

            Jitsui stared.

            “I drank a lot of it in France,” said Hatano defensively.  “Like I knew I would.  I was training for it, remember?”

            “But that doesn’t mean you had to start liking it.”  Jitsui didn’t know why this bothered him so much, but it did.

            “Maybe not, but it’s a good thing I started liking it,” said Hatano.  “I’ve been kind of depending on it lately to . . .”

            “What?” Jitsui demanded.  Then he realized.  “You’ve been drinking it to stay up longer and avoid sleeping.  Does Lt. Colonel Yuuki know?”

            “No,” said Hatano.  “But it doesn’t matter –”

            “It does matter.”

            “No, it doesn’t, because it’s not like that and it’s not hurting anything,” insisted Hatano. 

            “You got brain damage in France!” Jitsui said angrily.  His raised voice actually made Hatano jump.  “You said it was an easy mission!  A creampuff mission!  Your words!  And then you somehow let it turn into the most difficult mission any of us has had to date!  And you got hit in the head so hard, so many times, that you forgot who you were!  You could have died!  You probably should have died!  You got off lucky, with just a little bit of brain damage, but now you’re not even bothering to heal yourself properly!”

            “I didn’t let my mission turn into the hardest one yet!  It did that all on its own!” Hatano snapped, getting angry in turn.  “Or do you think I arranged for the Nazis to invade France?”

            “Why the hell did you go provoke them?” demanded Jitsui.  “You know how Lt. Colonel Yuuki feels about us crossing paths with them!”

            “You act like I just went and provoked them on a lark –”

            “You started a riot!”

            “It was part of my plan to –”

            “It was a horrible plan!”

            “No it wasn’t!  My plan worked perfectly!”

            “Except for the part where you let your brains get scrambled like eggs!”

            “I was able to function without my memories, thanks to my training,” said Hatano angrily.  “Twice!”

            “Once was already too much!”

            “Not all of us could have a comfy job undercover as a houseboy for a year!  I’m sorry if my improvisation in the face of armed and dangerous enemies offends you!”

            “This isn’t about my assignment!” Jitsui shouted.  “It’s about you almost dying!”

            “I didn’t almost die!” Hatano shouted back.

            “You liar!  You’re lying!  And you know you’re lying!” Jitsui wasn’t sure when he’d seized Hatano by his lapels, but suddenly he was in the smaller boy’s face.  “That much brain trauma should have killed you, and everyone here knows it!”

            Hatano broke Jitsui’s grip effortlessly, and shoved him backwards, out of his personal space.  “That much brain trauma could have killed me, yes, but it’s hardly a guarantee.  Since, what was it that we learned?  Oh yes, head injuries are completely unpredictable and can’t be quantified.  So technically, you were in more danger when you got into a car, alone, with an armed psychopath from Wind Agency, than I was just from taking a few hits to the head.”

            “You’re lying again!  You know that’s wrong!  And I was doing what I had to do for my mission!” said Jitsui angrily.

            “And so was I!” Hatano shot back.

            “But your mission is over!  And your new mission is to recover!  But instead of getting the rest your brain is telling your body it needs, you’re drinking coffee to cheat and stay awake longer.”  Jitsui glared at him.

            “You’re wrong about that!” Hatano said.

            “I’m not wrong!”

            “I was trying to tell you, but you didn’t let me finish!  What doesn’t matter is how much of it I drink!  Whether I drink it or not, I still can’t stay awake more than thirteen or fourteen hours.  I’ve tried!  It doesn’t work!  I drink it because it helps me think clearer!  If I don’t drink it, my thoughts stray, and come slower, and I get irritated a lot more, over stupid little things.  Like this conversation!” 

            Jitsui froze as his main argument crumbled.  So Hatano wasn’t slowing his recovery, by denying himself precious sleep?  That was good.  But he still couldn’t let his anger go.

            “You still should have been more careful in France.”

            “Dammit, Jitsui!  It was a mission!  Shit happens during missions!  You learned that when you had to walk for miles to get back to Yokohama last night!  But none of us gave you crap for it, even though we spent hours wondering if Gamou killed you!”

            “That’s different.  That was beyond my control!  Your situation came about because of your own actions!”

            “What do you want from me!” Hatano half-shouted.  “An apology?  You’re not getting one!  Not for that!  I did what I thought I had to do at the time.  It worked out in the end.  It didn’t inconvenience you, and I don’t answer to you!  Yuuki-san’s the only one who has to approve!”

            “And did he?” demanded Jitsui.

            “In the end, yes!”

            “Liar!”

            “It’s not a lie!”

            “Enough.”

            Both boys froze.  Then turned slowly to the door.  Yuuki stood there, glaring at them both. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Notes: Now they’ve done it, lol.  They’ve disturbed the Demon King!

 

Special thanks to my roomie for helping with the food suggestions in this chapter.  It’s nice to have someone in house I can go to and be like “What are some French foods that could be prepared quickly, using ingredients that would probably still be available during a war if there were food shortages?” and have an immediate answer, lol. 

 

Sorry if our boys seem a little out of character.  It’s harder than I thought to have them arguing and staying in character, or at least feel like they’re in character.  We don’t see them do much arguing on screen so there’s very little to draw from.  I tried to balance Jitsui’s cool rationale with his understandable concern (and apprehension) over the fact that Hatano almost died, then let his frustration over Hatano’s lasting injury be what sent him over the edge.  Too much?

 

Well, next chapter, at least, I promise they’re back to being more rational.  Yuuki and Jitsui have a serious discussion, and some things get cleared up for Jitsui. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

            “If I had wanted unruly children in my agency, I would have recruited from an elementary school,” said Yuuki coldly.  “I expect better from the two of you.”

            “Yes sir,” said Jitsui and Hatano at the same time.  Unintentionally.  They both shot each other dirty looks at the same time too.  When they looked back at Yuuki, their boss’s gaze had gotten even colder.

            He let them stand there, sweating for half a minute before finally cutting them loose. 

            “Hatano, check on Emma.  If she is awake, do not take your bad mood out on her.”

            “When have I ever?” demanded Hatano.

            Jitsui almost winced.  Because now was clearly not the time to be back talking the lieutenant colonel.

            “Now,” said Yuuki curtly, in a very dangerous tone.  And this time Hatano obeyed.  Leaving Jitsui alone with Yuuki.

            Jitsui forced himself to stay still, and not shift from foot to foot, like a nervous school boy. 

            “Jitsui.”

            “Sir?”

            “What brought this argument on?”

            Jitsui tried not to look as uncertain as he felt.  Yuuki no longer sounded as cold as he had, moments earlier.  But his voice was still too curt to just be curious.

            And Jitsui didn’t know how he should answer.  He wasn’t even sure what the honest answer was.  As he struggled to find words, seconds slipped by.  If Yuuki was any other military man, he probably would have started berating Jitsui and slapping down punishments.  Instead, Yuuki waited with the patience of stone.

            “I don’t know, sir,” said Jitsui finally.  And he waited for Yuuki to tear into him, and make him feel like a fool for such a stupid answer.

            Yuuki sighed and moved further into the room.  Still using his cane.  Keeping his disguise up, even now.  He sat down at the table, in the chair that Hatano had been using earlier, then rested his cane against the edge of the table.

            “There is a reason that I went to France myself, to retrieve him.”

            “Sir?”

            Yuuki motioned toward the other chair that had been pulled away from the table.  Jitsui sat back down in his own seat.

            “Out of all the allies our country could have chosen, the Germans were the very worst,” Yuuki said.  “Tell me why.”

            “Because they’re exactly like our country,” said Jitsui.  “They want the whole world.”

            “And?”

            “And because they’ve overreached.  Just like our country has,” said Jitsui.  “They declared war on Britain and Britain won’t fall so easily.  And hates them so much that a civilian fleet of private boats and fishing boats came to the rescue of the French soldiers defeated at Dunkirk.”

            Shirahata had collected every scrap of information about that incident he could find.  In the safety of his villa, he had made no secret that he thought those men heroes.  Jitsui’s role had agreed, because that’s what the slightly naïve, but educated young man he’d been playing would have done.  While Jitsui himself had secretly admired them as well.  It didn’t matter what side of the war you were on.  Mettle was mettle.  Not that Japan had been on Germany’s side at that time.  Or that Jitsui knew he should have been a whole lot more worried about the state of France at the time.  Kaminaga hadn’t revealed to Jitsui that Hatano was in France until a couple weeks later.  After Hatano had gone dark.

            “Take it a step further, Jitsui,” said Yuuki.  “And try to leave your personal feelings out of this.”

            “Before Britain falls, the Americans will get involved,” said Jitsui.  “Their troops are fresh, and their resources are vast.  Defeating them will be extremely difficult.  And Germany is likely to expect us to aid them by attacking America from the Pacific.  And we’re just stupid enough to do that.  But the moment we do that, we’ll have lost the war.  We just won’t know it yet.  That is, our armies won’t know it yet, indoctrinated and unstrategic as they are.”

            “Valid reasons.  And good logic.  But not the argument I’m looking for,” said Yuuki.

            “Then please tell me the reason you mean, sir,” said Jitsui.  “I could spend all night talking about why we should not have allied with the Axis powers, and still not be finished when morning comes.”

            “Simply put, the Nazis are fucking animals,” said Yuuki.  He reached toward the French press that Hatano had left on the table, pressed down on the strainer to finish steeping the coffee, then poured himself a cup.  “The day you and I met, we discussed Sun Tzu.  Do you recall?”

            “Yes, sir.”

            “Our conversation mostly focused on Sun Tzu’s words in regards to spies, but it was clear you were familiar with the entire work,” said Yuuki.  “Including what he wrote in regards to the First Constant.”

            “The moral law,” said Jitsui.

            “Yes.  Like our own ruling regime, the Nazis lack it.  Even worse than we do.  If the reports I have coming from Germany had been sent to me by anyone other than one of you boys, I don’t think I would believe them.”

            Jitsui’s mind did the math without him even meaning to.  So Miyoshi was in Germany.  And out of all of them, Miyoshi was the one who Yuuki had always trusted the most, when it came to his judgement and thoroughness.  Jitsui wondered if he or one of the others had been sending these unbelievable reports, if they would have been believed or not.  But he knew better than to ask.

            “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t understand what this has to do with our conversation,” said Jitsui.

            “I learned firsthand what the Germans were capable of during the Great War,” said Yuuki.  “Miyoshi’s reports made it clear that they have only gotten worse.  Once I understood the situation in France, and received intel that our country was allying itself with the Nazis, I went to retrieve Hatano myself, to insure that he made it back.”

            Jitsui turned over the possible meanings of this statement, based on its wording.  He came to two possible conclusions.  But one of them was nearly unthinkable.

            “You didn’t think Hatano would desert,” said Jitsui, feeling a rush of anger, but keeping it all out of his voice.  He was mistaken.  He’d just overthought things.  That had to be it.  And boy would he feel stupid when Yuuki confirmed that he’d just been worried about Hatano’s safety.

            “The possibility existed.”

            Jitsui had to stop himself from showing any signs of anger.  “With respect, sir, I think you’re wrong.  I don’t believe Hatano would go back on all his training.”

            “People can be very fickle,” said Yuuki slyly.  “One minute, you’re angry with him because of your own petty worries, about things out of either of your control, that worked out alright in the end.  The next you’re angry on his behalf, because I suggested –”

            “You suggested something extremely improbable,” Jitsui argued.

            “Is it so improbable that a teenage boy –”

            “Who is a D-Agency spy,” Jitsui put in.

            “Is it so improbable that a teenage spy, on his first deep cover mission, who witnessed horrific war crimes committed by his own nation’s allies might begin to doubt his purpose?”

            Jitsui bit his lip.  Then realized what he was doing and stopped himself.  Nervous tells weren’t allowed in D-Agency.  “What did he witness?”

            “To my knowledge, nothing.  It was the possibility of what he could have seen that made me feel my presence might be necessary,” said Yuuki. 

            “You went to get him yourself, in case he was having thoughts of defecting,” concluded Jitsui.

            “All eight of you are valuable assets.  Too valuable to simply let slip away.  I judged that speaking to me in person would help reaffirm his belief in his overall mission, if he was faltering,” said Yuuki.  “And that the possibility of that far outweighed the time and effort it would take to retrieve him.”

            “And was he faltering?” asked Jitsui.  He hated himself for asking, but he had to know.

            “When I offered him the chance to stay, he immediately responded that he would come home.  But he did have a request.”

            “What request?” asked Jitsui, uneasily.

            “That his next mission be one that required a bit more mettle.”

            Jitsui smirked.  Yeah, that sounded like Hatano.

            “The complications we encountered on our voyage home, however, were also ones that I had foreseen could occur,” said Yuuki.  “Given what I know of how the Nazis are wont to treat those they suspect of being spies.”

            “So in other words, there was more than one reason you went to France to retrieve him yourself,” said Jitsui. 

            “Not entirely.  The reason was to ensure that he came back.  The reason to think he might not come back was the Germans.  That reason simply took several forms.  And all those forms were my reason for personally retrieving him,” said Yuuki.  “Make no mistake.  The Nazis are dangerous.  The moment they became involved, the risks Hatano was facing increased a hundredfold, through no fault of his own.”

            Then why didn’t you immediately pull him out? Jitsui wanted to ask.  But he didn’t, because he knew why.  Hatano was a spy.  Yuuki, his spymaster.  Hatano’s job was to find and pass along information, and his cover had been a year building.  It was solid.  Yuuki had Hatano stay as long as his cover lasted, because that was what both of their jobs entailed.  But then he’d been there to make sure Hatano got home.  In case Hatano had doubts about coming home . . . or in case he was injured by the Nazis as he retreated from his role. 

            “You and the others may have a hard time believing this, considering how it appears things turned out,” said Yuuki, “but Hatano did well.  My complaints about his performance were few.”

            Jitsui heard the slight reprimand in that comment, for the assumptions he’d made that Hatano had well and truly screwed his mission up.  Well, it had been the natural conclusion to come to, based on the brain damage Hatano had suffered alone. 

            “Yes sir.  Sorry sir.”

            Yuuki stood, and lifted his cup of coffee to take it with him.  “Keep your childish squabbles to a minimum from now on.  If this happens again, you’ll be the one I send to sing Emma back to sleep.”

            Then he was gone, leaving Jitsui alone with his embarrassment. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

            Jitsui sat at the kitchen table long after Yuuki had left him.  He was sort of hoping Hatano would return, but at the same time hoping he wouldn’t.  Jitsui wanted to make amends with his friend.  But wasn’t sure how, or how well his intentions would be received.  Time crawled by.  Then Jitsui finally decided that Hatano wouldn’t be coming back.

            He cleaned up from the tea and coffee, then headed upstairs to get ready for bed.  Jitsui did think about checking the rooms that he knew could possibly have been converted into Emma’s room, but decided to give Hatano the time and space he clearly wanted.  He owed his friend that much. 

            But those plans were derailed, after a quick stop in the dormitory, to get his towel and sleeping clothes, because when he reached the showers, he saw something that set his heart hammering.  Hatano, on the floor, slumped against the wall.

            “Hatano!”  Jitsui surged forward to reach his side, heart in his throat, even though he knew this was probably just more of what he’d experienced the previous night.

            Hatano, he saw, was still semi-conscious.  He was fighting his unconsciousness and loosing.  It seemed like it had come over him suddenly, while he was brushing his teeth, because his toothbrush was on the floor, and there were a few white bubbles at the corner of his mouth.

            “Ji . . . tsu . . .”

            “You’re alright, aren’t you?” asked Jitsui, crouching down by him.  “This is just that exhaustion, right?”

            “Yessss.”  Hatano gave a long sigh.

            “Don’t worry,” said Jitsui, wiping Hatano’s mouth with the back of his wrist, and picking up his toothbrush, then setting it at the edge of the sink.  “I’m here to help you.  Let’s get you to bed.”

            He pulled Hatano to his feet, then supported him as the smaller boy swayed.  Realizing that Hatano had no balance whatsoever, Jitsui gave a mental shrug, then simply lifted him, bridal style.  Despite his appearance, he was much stronger than he looked.  Hatano too.  D-Agency’s entry training had ensured that.  Jitsui was fairly confident he could carry any of his fellow spies down a hallway this way with the possible exception of Fukumoto.  He would need a fireman’s carry to move Fukumoto.  But Hatano was feather light in his arms.  Even lighter than Jitsui had expected.

            “Have you been eating properly?” Jitsui couldn’t help asking.

            “Mm.”

            “I don’t believe you.”

            Hatano sighed against Jitsui’s neck.  His breath was warm, but it made Jitsui shiver.  Come to think of it, everything about him was warm.  Hatano was like sunshine personified.  The heat he radiated was bleeding through his clothes and Jitsui’s, so that Jitsui could feel it on his skin.

            “I’d think you would be heavier anyway.  You’re all muscle.  And bone.  What, are you hollow inside?” Jitsui teased, trying to keep things light and casual.  Pretending everything was okay.

            “Mm.  Am I?” Hatano asked drowsily.

            “Maybe,” teased Jitsui.  “But that could be useful.  If we can figure out a way to install a drawer.  That way you can always carry a weapon.  And spare ammo.”

            “I’m sorry,” Hatano said suddenly.

            “Don’t be.  I don’t mind helping you.”

            They’d reached the dorms.  Jitsui carried Hatano over to his bed.  Hatano’s bed, that is.  He laid Hatano down on top of his covers.

            “Not about that.  About fighting.  Don’t want to fight with you,” said Hatano, fighting to keep his eyes open.

            “Hm.  Well, I’m sorry too,” said Jitsui.  Apologizing shouldn’t be this easy.  But since it was to Hatano . . . well, everything had always been so easy with Hatano.  Except falling in love with him.  But everything else . . . maybe that was why Jitsui had fallen in love with him.  He and Hatano had clicked so well, it was like they were meant to be together.  “I lost my head, and I didn’t have all the details when I got angry.  Forgive me?”

            “Nothing . . . to . . . forgive.”

            Jitsui smiled down at Hatano.  Then realized Hatano was still fully dressed, except for his shoes.  He shook his head and started unknotting Hatano’s tie.  The last thing he wanted was for his friend to choke himself with it in his sleep.

            Hatano’s eyelids fluttered, and he stared up at Jitsui an expression that was too exhausted to read.

            “You can sleep now, Hatano,” Jitsui told him.  “I’ll take care of your jacket for you.”

            “Uh . . . I . . . you . . .”

            “Shh.” Jitsui laid a finger over Hatano’s lips.  “Just rest.  We can talk more tomorrow.  How about we go somewhere tomorrow?  Just you and me?”

            “Mm.”  Then, just before he lost his fight to stay awake, Hatano reached out and managed to grab a fistful of Jitsui’s shirt.  “Sta . . .”  And then he was gone.

            Jitsui blinked down at Hatanos hand.  Had Hatano been trying to stop him from undressing him?  He wondered this as he rolled up Hatano’s tie.  But if he let him sleep in his suit jacket, it would be hopelessly wrinkled.  He felt a chill as he wondered if Hatano didn’t want him undressing him because of what had happened earlier that night, before they started fighting . . . when Jitsui had awkwardly started sucking on Hatano’s finger.  Had he scared Hatano more than he knew?  No . . . he didn’t think so.  Most likely Hatano just didn’t want to trouble him, making him take care of him like this.  But Jitsui didn’t mind this.  At all.  He carefully unbuttoned Hatano’s jacket and eased him out of it, then took it to the closet to hang up.  He debated whether or not to leave Hatano’s suspenders alone, but decided that he would be more comfortable with them off.  So he unbuttoned them carefully, but quickly, not touching Hatano’s waistline any longer than he had to.  He pulled down the covers on the other side of the narrow bed, before rolling Hatano onto his stomach, to unbutton the suspenders from behind, then rolled him back onto his back and pulled the sheets over him.  Jitsui took care, the whole time, to be efficient and professional.  Not lewd and disgraceful.  He wouldn’t do that to Hatano.  Not when Hatano wasn’t even conscious.

            But he did take his time tucking Hatano in.  And studying his sleeping face.  Hatano really looked so much younger when he was asleep.  Not for the first time, Jitsui wondered how old his friend really was.  There were so many little details about all his friends that he would have liked to know.  But Jitsui had to be satisfied knowing that even without those minor details, he knew his friends better than probably everyone from their old lives had.  And the same was true for them, about Jitsui.  His parents had cared about him, but they never understood him.  But they had been a damn sight better than Hatano’s parent.  Jitsui had never suffered worse than the occasional slap or smack from his parents.  But Hatano’s father had been a monster.

            Jitsui absently wondered if Hatano’s upbringing had actually helped him on his latest mission?  If his long history of suffering from abuse had toughened him up to the point where he could shrug off multiple head wounds . . . but no, he realized.  Head injuries didn’t work like that.  The damage was accumulative.  If anything, his past would have only made his condition worse.  If his father had given Hatano any serious head injuries in the past half decade, they would have compounded the damage done to Hatano on his mission.

            Without consciously realizing what he was doing, Jitsui reached out to touch one of Hatano’s temples.  He let his fingers sift through Hatano’s silky hair until they reached the scalp beneath it.  His fingers met a smooth, puffy scar.  Even without being able to see it, Jitsui could feel that it had been very bad.  He continued sifting his fingers through Hatano’s hair, searching for other scars.  As expected, he found two more.  One not as bad as the first, but also one worse than both the others combined. 

            “Those bastards,” Jitsui whispered, feeling a burning behind his eyes.  He would have loved for a chance to settle the score with them, whether it was spy-like or not.  Oh, but he could have gotten his revenge in a way that was spy-like.  They would have never seen it coming.  If only . . .

            “He’s not a puppy, you know,” said Kaminaga softly from the doorway.

            Jitsui jumped and twisted to stare at him.

            “Though he looks like one when he’s asleep, I’ll give you that.  Just be careful about petting him like one.  If you wake him up, that’s a five mile night swim for you, and believe me, Yuuki-san will know.  Even if you don’t say anything, just by looking at you, he’ll know,” said Kaminaga with a shudder.

            “I wasn’t petting him,” said Jitsui, hiding his horror at realizing that was exactly what he’d been doing.  Hatano’s hair was just so soft and silky.  After locating all the scars, he’d just started absently running his fingers through it, without realizing he was doing so.  “I just wanted to know where his scars were.  From his mission.”

            Kaminaga’s expression darkened just a shade.  “How bad are they?”

            “If just one of them was on his face, he’d be finished at D-Agency.”  It was cruel, and they all knew it.  But spies had to be able to blend in.  Horrible facial scars meant the end of their career.  Even as a handler, they wouldn’t be useful to D-Agency anymore. 

            “Then he’s lucky they’re all hidden by his hair,” sighed Kaminaga.  “Come on.  Let’s let him sleep.  We’ve got a card game going on downstairs.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Notes: Yuuki is always so hard to write.  But at least the mini angels have patched things up.  They can’t stay mad at one another too long.  And now they’ve got a date planned for tomorrow. :)  Of course Jitsui didn’t realize he was essentially asking Hatano out on a date at the time, lol.  He'll have time to freak out when he realizes later, probably.  I'm still deciding whether I should have the date go well or be horrible.  What do you think?

 

On another note, there’s fan art for this fic now, from the amazing Tivanny!

 

Here we have Hatano introducing Jitsui to Emma-chan for the first time. :)  She looks so comfortable, just casually sitting in Hatano’s arms, as though he carries her around like that all the time.  And so intrigued by this new, angel faced big brother who she’s been warned is literally the spawn of Satan.  But of course no one that beautiful could ever be a bad guy, right?  Right?  <http://tivanny2292.tumblr.com/image/150353434961>

 

And here’s what it looks like when spies go out for ice cream.  Yuuki’s making good on his promise to buy his boys a tasty frozen treat.  (And Hatano’s cajoling him into buying him the most expensive thing on the menu.)  But it’s a covert operation, so no one on the outside should know they’re all actually there together.  (Gotta get Emma’s spy training started while she’s young!)  <http://tivanny2292.tumblr.com/image/150399379796>

 


	5. Chapter 5

            Jitsui woke up shivering and groaned under his breath.  His muscles ached, from sleeping curled up, trying to conserve warmth.  And a heavy pile of blankets had been stacked on top of him in his sleep by the others.  So many blankets Jitsui was surprised he hadn’t been smothered by them in his sleep.  In that hazy moment before he fully woke up, Jitsui wondered if Yuuki had given Hatano an errand to run, and that’s why he wasn’t there in bed with him, keeping him warm.

            Then he remembered.  Everything.  Hatano’s brain damage, and how it was better if Jitsui didn’t share a bed with him now.  His fight with Hatano.  Their subsequent kind-of make up.  Which he wasn’t sure counted, since Hatano had been struggling against unconsciousness.  Then the way Hatano had tried to stop Jitsui when Jitsui tried to undress him for bed.  Jitsui still wasn’t sure what that meant.  It had weighed on his mind heavily last night as he struggled to succumb to sleep.  And before that, it had caused him to lose at poker.  The others had been able to tell he was distracted and preyed on it, as was their way.  Jitsui himself would have done the same.

            He got out of bed slowly, struggling with his numb limbs.  A part of him missed his undercover assignment in Shirahata’s villa.  The old man had indulged with the heating.  Something Jitsui had appreciated.  But here was where he belonged.  D-Agency was home, or as much of one as he had.  He just wished . . . well, what he wished didn’t matter.  Nowhere was perfect.  Lack of heating aside, D-Agency was as close as Jitsui had ever found. 

            He got dressed, glad to put on his suit jacket, for the extra warmth.  But being up and about was what really was warming him up.  By the time he made it down the stairs, and to the kitchen, he felt almost human again.

            It was late in the morning.  Not yet lunch, but past when most normal people had eaten breakfast.  Fukumoto, one of their regular early (well, earlier) risers, had already come and gone, leaving a large pot of rice porridge on the stove, to keep it warm for the others.  Tazaki was at the table, eating.  He looked up when Jitsui dragged himself into the cafeteria.

            “There’s coffee in the pot, if you want it.”

            “Thanks.”

            “Also, Hatano asked me to tell you he went out to fill the car up with gas.  Yuuki-san gave him permission to use it on your date today.”

            Jitsui nearly dropped the mug he’d just pulled out of a cabinet.  Before D-Agency training, he probably would have.  “What?” he asked, trying very hard to stay calm.

            Tazaki glanced over at him, and Jitsui could tell he was trying to hide a smirk, the bastard.  “He didn’t phrase it like that, if that’s what you were wondering.”

            It took Jitsui a couple seconds to realize that Hatano remembered at least some of their conversation last night.  The one they’d had when Hatano was on the verge of passing out.  If he was a lesser spy, like those fools at Wind Agency, he might have blushed at the realization that yes, he had actually essentially asked Hatano out on a date.

            What had he been thinking?  Jitsui felt like groaning now that he realized this.  More alone time with Hatano was the last thing he should have arranged for himself.  At least until his chemical reconditioning sessions put a damper on his libido.  Then things would go back to the way they used to be.  Hopefully.  Jitsui was counting on that.  Because if they didn’t then Jitsui was screwed.  He didn’t know what would happen if he couldn’t get rid of these feelings, especially now that he knew Hatano had been spooked by them.  Remembering how Hatano had tried to stop him from undressing him for bed last night made Jitsui feel a strong sense of shame.

            “Jitsui?  Are you alright?” asked Tazaki, all traces of teasing suddenly gone and genuine concern in his voice.

            “Yes.  I’m fine,” said Jitsui, hoping he didn’t sound too dead.

            “You don’t look or sound fine.  And you didn’t look so great last night either.  Are you ill?” asked Tazaki.

            “No.  I’m just tired,” lied Jitsui. 

            Tazaki didn’t look convinced.  But he did seem willing to let it go.  “Alright.  But if you need help . . .”

            “Thank you,” Jitsui said politely.  He sat down with his cup of coffee and was about to add a spoonful of sugar to it, when the cafeteria door flew open and Hatano breezed in, looking exactly the opposite from how he’d looked the previous night.  His eyes were bright, and he seemed very aware, and ready to face the day head on.

            “Good, you’re up!” he said to Jitsui, immediately zeroing in on him.  “Let’s go.”

            “What?” Jitsui deadpanned.

            “You said you wanted to do something today.  Then I passed out before we made plans.  And you don’t seem to have made plans, so I did, while you were still asleep.  That’s fine, right?” Hatano gave Jitsui a cheeky smile.

            “I just got up,” Jitsui said.

            “But you’re dressed,” said Hatano.  “And you have coffee.  You can take that and your breakfast with you, and I’ll drive.  There, at least.  It’s probably safer if you drive us home, since it will be late, and I don’t want to fall asleep at the wheel.”

            Jitsui remembered that when Hatano was on a roll like this, it was best to just go along with it.  So he added the sugar to his coffee and stood up, doing his best to give his usual neutral smile.  “Where are we going?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

            Hakone turned out to be where Hatano had chosen for them to spend the day.  Hakone was a mountainous region, a couple hours outside of Tokyo.  It was famed for its numerous hot springs, all throughout the area, but tourism there had been declining thanks to the escalating war. 

            “I know some good places to walk,” said Hatano as he steered the car onto the highway.  “Some easy mountain trails too easy to really be considered hiking.  But pretty, with some great views.  I thought it would be nice to be able to go out and do something, but still be able to talk freely.”

            “Yes,” Jitsui agreed.  That did sound appealing.

            “There’s some touristy stuff we can do too, if you like.  We can get some of those eggs they boil in the hot springs.  The ones they say add years to your life.  And I know some good restaurants,” said Hatano.

            “You haven’t mentioned the obvious thing yet,” said Jitsui, a bit cautiously. 

            “You mean the hot springs?” Hatano flashed him a cheeky grin.  “Don’t worry, I’ve got that covered.”

            “What are you planning?” Jitsui asked warily.  Because Hatano was suddenly wearing _that smirk_.

            “Nothing bad.  What’s with that look?” Hatano demanded.  Then he sighed theatrically.  “Fine.  I’ll spill.  I know the location of a secret hot spring.  A small one we can go to for free.  It’s not far off from one of the walking trails I mentioned.”

            “Then why doesn’t everyone know about it?” asked Jitsui.  “How can it be a secret if it’s that close.”

            “You’ll see,” said Hatano.  “That’s all I’m saying.  I don’t want to spoil everything.”

            Something else had occurred to Jitsui by this time.  “Just how familiar with the Hakone area are you?”

            Knowing secret spots was a local kind of thing.  Jitsui didn’t know how Yuuki would feel if Hatano was taking him somewhere too close to his hometown.  And Jitsui didn’t know what he’d do if he ran into someone who knew Hatano.  Someone like Hatano’s father.

            “I used to go there in the summertime a lot,” said Hatano, his eyes fixed on the road.  “I’m not from Hakone or anything, don’t worry.  I’m not doing something Yuuki-san would disapprove of.  No relatives there either.  My dojo would take trips there in the summer for training.  Mountain running and meditating under waterfalls, and other stupid shit.”  
            “Oh.”

            “Yeah.”

            “You have good memories there?”

            “Some.  Enough.  More than at home.  Not as many as at D-Agency.”

            Jitsui smiled, realizing that he had places he felt the same way about.  The ancestral family farmhouse his father had inherited, where his parents and siblings still lived was technically home.  But Hawaii had been his first home.  Where he’d grown up.  And he had many more better memories there than he did at the farmhouse.  But not as many as he’d made since entering spy training.

            “Remember the time we broke Zakurai’s leg?” Jitsui asked nostalgically.

            “No, what are you talking about?” Hatano asked, his tone filled with mischief.  “Narimo broke Zakurai’s leg.”

            “That’s what I just said,” lied Jitsui.

            “Uh huh.”  Hatano shot him a sideways smirk.  “Well remember the time we didn’t sneak into a military academy dressed as cadets?”

            “How could I possibly remember something that never happened?”

            Hatano snickered.

            Jitsui allowed himself to smile.  “You know Lt. Colonel Yuuki knows about that.”

            “What?  How?” demanded Hatano. 

            “Because he’s Lt. Colonel Yuuki?” Jitsui suggested.  “It was inevitable that he’d find out.”

            “I wonder if one of the others told him,” muttered Hatano.  “You’re sure he knows?  He never said anything about it to me.”

            “He knows.  I saw the truancy reports for the roles we created for ourselves on his desk,” said Jitsui.

            “You mean he left them out on his desk for you to see,” said Hatano.

            “Pretty much.  We got expelled by the way.  Our attendance records were terrible.”

            Hatano shrugged.  “Them’s the breaks.”

            Again, it was like old times.  That easy friendship.  That warmth Jitsui had missed.  Fleetingly, he wished that he could bottle this feeling.  Then he’d always be able to remember what it was like, just being with his best friend.  What he’d feared would be a long, awkward car ride flew by, right along with the changing landscape, as Hatano and Jitsui chattered and snarked back and forth, bouncing ideas for ways to prank their fellow spies back and forth, and reminiscing about their shared past exploits, from their training days and since officially graduating from D-Agency.  It surprised Jitsui how many of those there were.  Especially since he hadn’t really known Hatano that long.  It had only been a few years since they’d met back in training.  And the last whole year had been spent apart on their separate deep cover missions.  Yet somehow Jitsui had more memories of having fun with Hatano than he did of any of his old friends back in Hawaii.  He had more good memories of being with Hatano than he did of being with his parents.  That realization was a little scary for Jitsui.  He knew he should have never let anyone become so important to him.  Not with the life he had chosen to lead.

            Yet somehow, he didn’t regret it.  Hatano was . . . Hatano.  He just fit perfectly into Jitsui’s life, like he was always meant to be there.  And all it had taken to find him was throwing everything from his old life away.

            Jitsui couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if they’d known each other before D-Agency.  Would they have ever become friends, if they’d known each other in their old lives?  The only reason they had begun hanging around each other in training was out of necessity.  Hatano’s personality wasn’t one Jitsui would have normally sought out in a friend.  But perhaps the question of greater importance was, if they had been friends before D-Agency, would they still have gone to D-Agency?

            No, Jitsui realized, feeling a little cold.  He, at least, would not have.  He couldn’t speak for Hatano.  Hatano’s situation had been different.  And even though he couldn’t be sure what Hatano would have done, Jitsui couldn’t fault him for that.  Hatano had been running away from an abusive father.  Jitsui would have wanted him to make the choices he had, even if Jitsui himself wouldn’t have made the same choice, if Hatano had been part of the equation for him at the time.  Leaving behind his parents, his name, his home, his past.  It had all been so easy.  But leaving behind Hatano would have been impossible.  No matter what he could gain.

            A warm hand on his forehead startled Jitsui into jumping in place.  He blinked quickly at Hatano, who was peering at him with concern.

            “Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” asked Hatano.  “You’ve been zoning out a lot since yesterday.”

            “I’m fine.  Watch the road . . . or not.”  Jitsui had been so distracted, he didn’t even see that they had pulled off the road, into a parking lot.  “What’s this?”

            “This is where we get the hot spring eggs,” said Hatano.  He unbuckled his seatbelt and then hit the button to free Jitsui’s as well.  “Come on!”

            Jitsui followed Hatano out of the car, and to the end of the small lot, where there was a small wooden building that turned out to be a store.  Hatano, Jitsui saw now that he was paying attention again, had donned a pair of glasses, and had swept his bangs back over the top of his head, so they laid smooth, similar to how Yuuki wore his hair.  So, Jitsui realized, Hatano had come here often enough that he was taking precautions not to be recognized.  But not so often that he was worried about coming back here.

            “We would always stop here on the way to our campsite,” Hatano explained softly to Jitsui, as though guessing his thoughts.  “The eggs are from the hot springs.  They bring batches of them here every morning.  I thought we’d stop here for them and save ourselves the steep hike we’d have to take to get them from the source, while we’re wearing our suits.”

            “Good call,” said Jitsui, smiling at him. 

            Hatano went and got the eggs while Jitsui browsed.  Signs of a once reasonably prosperous souvenir shop having gone into a decline were evident just by looking at the shop’s wares.  There were marks on many of the shelves, showing sun bleached silhouettes for items that were no longer there.  A few cans and bottles of foods and beverages remained on the shelves that had once clearly been full of them.  There was also a display of glass bottles with marimo balls inside, that looked a little brown, and had algae growing on the glass inside.  The war was ruining this business.  And many others, Jitsui knew.  It was good for some industries.  But murder to others, especially the tourism industry.  Impulsively, he picked out one of the marimo balls.  The healthiest looking one.  And he took it to the counter, where Hatano was paying for the eggs.

            “What’s that?” Hatano asked, quirking an eyebrow.  Doubtlessly he knew a marimo ball when he saw one, so Jitsui didn’t give the obvious answer.  He knew what Hatano really meant was, “What are you doing with that?”

            “I want it,” Jitsui answered and took out his own wallet.

            But Hatano had already had his wallet out.  He took out another coin and slid it to the man at the counter, and motioned for Jitsui to put his away.

            “Thank you,” Jitsui said, smiling and picking the bottle containing his new pet moss ball up.

            Hatano just smiled and handed him a small paper package that was warm in Jitsui’s hands.  The eggs.  But he waited until they were outside to open the package up, since that’s what Hatano did too.  Inside the package were five black shelled eggs.  Jitsui had never had these before, but he knew the gist of it.  Boiling them in certain hot springs caused a chemical reaction which turned the shells black.  But other than that, they were just normal chicken eggs.  Though the local lore claimed that eating one added five years to your lifespan.  Which meant that if he finished all the eggs in his packet, he could expect to live an additional twenty-five years after what would have been his original natural death date.  If no one gave him a death from unnatural causes before then.

            Jitsui looked at Hatano, who had torn open his own packet.  “Five eggs is a bit much, isn’t it?”

            “It’s cold enough that they’ll keep fine in the car,” said Hatano. 

            That was true.  The outside air was about the same temperature as an ice box.

            “Also . . . I guess I’m a little sentimental,” admitted Hatano.  He cast a blank look back at the shop, as he finished peeling one of his eggs.  Jitsui knew him well enough to be able to read the regret in his expression.  Hatano knew as well as Jitsui did.  Unless something changed quickly, that shop probably wouldn’t be open much longer.  But there was nothing either of them could do about it. 

            They ate two eggs each, along with some rice balls Hatano had made that morning and packed for them.  The rest they wrapped back in their packaging, then put on the car’s back seat, far away from the heater, which Jitsui was indulging himself with because he could. 

            “Are you going to be alright going for a walk?” asked Hatano, looking a little concerned.  “I didn’t think about that before.  I know you don’t like the cold, I just didn’t –”

            “I’ll be fine,” Jitsui assured him.  “As long as I’m up and moving, it gets my blood flowing and I stay warm.  It’s only when I lie down that I get cold.  I’m alright sitting too.  But right now I’m just using the heat because I want to.”

            “Did you do alright on your mission?  During the nights?  Were you alright?” asked Hatano.  It was the first time either of their missions had been brought up that day, and Hatano’s tone changed a little, his voice growing more wary.  Like he was worried he might be treading on thin ice, after their spat the previous night.

            “I was alright,” said Jitsui.  “Shirahata kept his villa warm.”

            “Good.  I’m glad,” said Hatano. 

            “I can endure the cold when I have to,” said Jitsui.  He tried not to sound too defensive.  “Remember our entrance exam?”

            Swimming in the ocean, at night, fully clothed, while it was snowing.  Jitsui bragged about surviving that now, but the truth was, that test had come closer to eliminating him than any other.  But he had passed it.  Through sheer force of stubbornness.  The truth was that Jitsui really, really hated the cold.

            Hatano deflected the topic back to the horror stories of their training.  Mainly, the horror stories where they were the main antagonists.  Jitsui’s treatment of another candidate, Hourai, was brought up.  And how Jitsui had gotten him eliminated from training.  And they did a few impersonations of Megami’s blowup when he’d gotten cut.  Then Hatano changed the topic to their plans for the rest of the day.

            “We’re almost to the first trail.  Not the one near my secret hot spring.  But this one has a really great view.  I figure that we’ll spend about an hour here, then drive to the next trail, which is near the hot spring.  Spend maybe an hour and a half, or two hours there.  Then drive back toward Tokyo, stopping for dinner on the way. 

            “That sounds good,” Jitsui said agreeably.  “Did you have a place in mind for dinner?”

            “I have several places in mind.  But what do you feel like eating?” asked Hatano.

            “I’m fine with anything.”

            “That’s not an answer,” said Hatano.

            “No, it’s a deference to your superior knowledge of the area,” said Jitsui.  “Actually, you know what?  Take me to your favorite place out of the several places you were thinking of.  I want to see the place you like best.”

            Hatano gave an odd little smile.  “Alright.”

            They reached the walking trail shortly after that.  This time before leaving the car, Jitsui put on an overcoat over his suit coat.  Even Hatano the walking space heater deigned to put on his suit jacket.  The temperatures were definitely getting colder.  And, Jitsui noticed with some concern, the sky was no longer blue, but white.

            “Hm,” Hatano said, noticing the same thing at the same time.

            “Looks like snow,” said Jitsui.

            Hatano looked at him sharply.  “Do you want to go back to Tokyo?”

            “No,” said Jitsui quickly.  “We’re here.  The sky hasn’t been white very long.  And there’s no guarantee it will snow.”

            “I don’t know much about the winter weather for this area,” Hatano admitted.  “It could be that storms come out of the mountains fast.”

            “We’ll be alright though, won’t we?  You said this trail is an easy one.  We weren’t planning on being here more than an hour, so even if it starts snowing hard, we should be able to get back to the car in maybe twenty minutes, hurrying all the way from the furthest point you wanted us to go,” said Jitsui.  “And we passed a town big enough to have an inn not twenty-five minutes ago.  We could walk back there if we had to, if the car got stuck.  But it’s not even snowing yet.  It might not even snow at all.”

            “You’re right,” said Hatano.

            “I usually am.”

            Hatano smirked.  Then he retrieved his own overcoat, probably just to be on the safe side before they set out down the trail.

            It really was an easy trail to walk, Jitsui noted as they went along.  This was the sort of place that, in America, would have been turned into a state or national park.  And Hatano was right.  When they came to the lookout point he’d wanted to show Jitsui, Jitsui’s breath was nearly taken away.  Mountains rose in the background, walling in a forest that looked like it was full of mist.

            “The mist is steam from various hot springs,” Hatano said.  “There are inns at some of them.  But they’re hidden by the forest.  The steam’s a lot more visible now than it was in the summers when I was here.  I guess because it’s so cold.  Yes, that would do it.  I used to jog this trail in the mornings.  And the other one in the evenings.  Hot springs feel so good on your muscles after a long day of training.”

            “The trail leading to the hot spring is near here?” asked Jitsui.

            Hatano shrugged.  “Near where we started.  Maybe a ten minute drive down some windy roads.”

            Jitsui frowned as a large, lacy snowflake drifted down in front of them.  The first he’d seen.  He held out his hand to catch it.  And when he did, it stayed frozen on his skin for several seconds before starting to melt because of his body heat.  “I hate to say it, but we might have to skip the second one.”

            “Damn,” said Hatano.

            “But let’s wait and see how things are when we get back to the car.”

            But by the time they got back to the car, there was no question about what they needed to do.  After only a few minutes after seeing that first snow flake, hundreds more were tumbling out of the sky after it.  Hatano and Jitsui picked up their pace and walked faster, but as if to match them, the wind picked up.  Soon snowflakes were cascading down around them in gusts, and their hair was frosted by the tiny crystals of ice.  Their outer clothes were caked in the ice crystals too, by the time they finally made it back to the car, and a thin layer of snow covered all the windows.

            Hatano tossed Jitsui the keys, an unspoken request for him to start it up, while he got the ice scraper out of the car’s trunk and went to work on the windows.  Jitsui appreciated his assignment.  He’d tried not to let on how uncomfortable the cold was making him, but Hatano had probably figured it out anyway by his shivering.  He started the car, cranked up the heat, and turned on the windshield wipers to save Hatano the trouble of clearing the windshield.  Several moments later, Hatano got into the car on the passenger side, his tasks completed. 

            “We should probably stay the night in that town,” Jitsui said.  “I don’t like the idea of driving two hours in this weather.”

            “Longer than that,” said Hatano.  “Unless you have a death wish.” 

            “So, to that town?”

            “Yeah.  There is an inn there.  Or at least there was.”  They didn’t have to worry about whether they had enough to stay for the night.  Their salaries weren’t huge or anything, but it wasn’t like they had been able to touch any of their wages while they were undercover, as a servant/school boy or foreign exchange student in France.  Which meant both young spies were pretty flush with cash at the moment.  And that wasn’t counting the emergency cache of money Yuuki-san kept hidden in the car, in case they needed to use it. 

            “I’m sorry, Jitsui,” said Hatano, as Jitsui pulled onto the road.

            “Don’t be.  You’re not to blame for the weather.”

            “I really wanted to show you my secret hot spring,” said Hatano. 

            “We’ll come back another time,” promised Jitsui.  “You can show me then.”

            Hatano nodded.  Then fell silent.  Because the weather conditions had gone from bad to treacherous.  Jitsui had the lights on, and the windshield wipers going as fast as they could, but he still couldn’t see very far beyond the front of his car.  Visibility was maybe ten feet.  So Jitsui drove slow.  If another car was on the road in front of them, he wouldn’t have much time to stop, and with the snow icing the road down, it would be made that much harder.  But Jitsui trusted his reflexes and his abilities.

            But unfortunately, his reflexes and abilities couldn’t protect him from the inadequacies of others.  The other car appeared not in front of them, where Jitsui could have prevented a collision, but behind them.  And the other driver didn’t have Jitsui’s reflexes, or good sense not to be going so fast when visibility was so poor.  The first Jitsui and Hatano knew about the other car being there, was when it rammed into the rear of their car.

            The sound of the collision was earsplitting and terrifying, as confusion, fear, and realization of what was happening set in.  Jitsui hit the brakes.  The car behind them did not.  Before them, the icy road made a sharp turn.  One that Jitsui had no hope of making in their current predicament.  Not when the car behind him was pushing his car across the ice slickened road.  And unfortunately, the road was elevated from the terrain around it, as many mountain roads are.  Meaning that when the other car pushed their car off the road, it pushed them down a steep slope.  Though they only went about ten feet down that slope before the front of their car ended up wrapped around a tree.

 

* * *

 

Notes: Despite more requests for their date to go horribly than well, I couldn’t have it be all horrible.  So I decided to be cruel, and have it go really well but then have something horrible happen to ruin it.  Then end on a cliffhanger. 

 

But I promise you won’t have as long a wait for next chapter as you did for this one.  I’d put this fic on hold while I finished Tazaki’s Arc of my Casino AU fic, because that was a heist story, and even with extensive notes and planning, it was very hard to keep the details of that plot straight in my head, and even harder when I switched from fic to fic.  But now the Casino AU fic is currently between arcs, so I’ll be catching up on Coming Home, amongst other things. :)  So expect to see a new chapter of this fic by this time next week at the latest. 

 

And one last thing before I go: fan art!  Tivanny drew this pic awhile back, but this is my first time updating this fic since she drew it.  So you might have seen it already, but in case you haven’t, here it is!  That scene from Chapter 3.  In the cafeteria.  When Jitsui got a little bit of cream on his face and Hatano wiped it away with his finger.  Tivanny has beautifully captured that moment.  Right before it went from being sweet and innocent to being . . .  just as sweet but not so innocent anymore, lol.  <http://tivanny2292.tumblr.com/image/150445336831>


	6. Chapter 6

            The sound of the second collision was somehow even more terrifying than the first.  So loud and jarring, and punctuating the complete lack of control Jitsui felt at his inability to avert the disaster.

            Jitsui’s seatbelt kept him well in place.  His whole body snapped forward, but was caught by the belt, keeping him from smashing into the steering column.  But after the initial whiplash jerked him back in his seat then forward again, his head was knocked forward and thumped against the wheel. But it was his forehead, the thickest part of his skull that hit it, and not too hard, again thanks to his seatbelt stopping him from going too far forward.  But the realization of what had just happened made him even more terrified than he had been before.  Because his best friend was in the seat next to him.  And Jitsui remembered with terrifying clarity what Hatano’s condition was.

            “Hatano!” He twisted to look to his friend.  Had Hatano been wearing his seatbelt?  Please let him have been wearing his seatbelt.  Yes, he was wearing his seatbelt.  Thank the gods.  Not that Jitsui had ever believed in them.  But he thanked them all the same.  Until he realized that the collision might not have effected Hatano the same way it had him.  What if Hatano had hit his head on the window?  Or if he’d snapped further forward.  _“Hatano!”_

            Hatano was looking dazed.  But at Jitsui’s frantic screams, he twisted to look at his friend.  “Jitsui?  Are you hurt?”

            “Your head!  Did you hit your head?” Jitsui asked frantically.

            “No,” said Hatano quickly.  But not too quickly for Jitsui to believe him.  Then he repeated, “Are you hurt?”

            “No.  I’m fine,” said Jitsui.  He took a deep breath and willed himself to be calm.  Calmer.  Hatano wasn’t hurt.  He hadn’t hit his head.  His brain damage hadn’t just been compounded.

            “Are you sure?” asked Hatano, his voice sounding a little hoarse.  “Jitsui, you’re white as a ghost.”

            “I was scared,” Jitsui admitted.  “I thought you might have another head injury.  And after all your other head injuries . . .”  It probably would have killed Hatano.  And there would have been nothing Jitsui could have done to save him.  Hatano would have died right in front of him.  Jitsui couldn’t imagine anything worse.

            “Hey.  I’m alright,” said Hatano.  He raised a hand to his chest and rubbed at the area around his seatbelt.  “Nothing worse than a little whiplash and bruising.  Same for you?”

            Jitsui nodded.  “Yeah.  Yes.”

            Hatano tried his door.  But it wouldn’t open.  The frame or the metal must have been warped in the crash.  Jitsui tried the driver’s side door.  It opened creakily.  Jitsui hit the button on his seatbelt and carefully disentangled himself, and exited the car.  Hatano followed with less of his usual grace than normal, probably thanks to the bruises from his seatbelt. 

            They had been sort of hoping to see the driver of the car that had hit them at the top of the slope.  Even though they weren’t too happy with him.  Because that’s what people who weren’t total assholes did, when they hit your car and ran you off the road.  They stopped to see if you were alright.  And if you needed help, they gave it to you, to try to make up for what they’d done.  But no one was there, at the top of the slope.  The driver of the other car had continued on his way.

            “What a fucking asshole!” shouted Hatano.

            “He is a fucking asshole,” Jitsui agreed, even though he normally restricted his language better.  But this time he felt like coarse language was very justified.

            “Shit!  Fuck this!  Dammit!”  Hatano ran a hand through his hair.  Then he took a deep breath.  Calming himself.  Prioritizing, Jitsui realized.  Something he himself needed to do too.  “We can’t stay here.”

            “Are you sure we shouldn’t we stay here?” asked Jitsui.  “We might have lost the heat but it’s still shelter from the storm.”  They would have to share body heat if they wanted to survive here.  It would be awkward with how things were between them, but it was better than freezing to death.  Leaving the car would be a gamble of whether or not they could make it to another shelter.  One Jitsui didn’t know would pay off.  It seemed better to go with the sure way of surviving to him.

            “No,” said Hatano.  “Smell that?”

            Jitsui hadn’t been paying attention to any scents.  But at Hatano’s prompt he concentrated.  And mentally swore when he realized what Hatano had realized already.  “Radiator fluid.”

            “And gasoline.  Not really safe to stay here,” said Hatano.  He staggered partway up the slope, around the back of the car, and to the trunk.  Which was already open.  The collision had popped the trunk open.  Which, Jitsui supposed, was better than it warping the metal so that it wouldn’t open.  Because Hatano seemed to want something from it.  Yes.  A large satchel.  Though Jitsui didn’t know what was in it.  But he did know something else they should bring.  Jitsui pried open one of the back doors and crawled into the car, looking for the paper packages that had contained their uneaten hot spring eggs.  Now they had dinner, at least.  Jitsui shoved those in his overcoat pockets.  Then he saw his marimo ball in its glass bottle, remarkably uncracked, rolling around on the floor and pocketed that too.

            “Don’t close the door,” Hatano warned him.  “It could spark something.  We need to get away.”

            “The town,” Jitsui said.  “We need to get to that town.”

            “Yeah.  Um . . . or we could go to my hot spring.  Which is actually closer as the crow flies, now that I see where we are,” said Hatano.

            “Hatano, we need shelter,” said Jitsui.

            “And we’ll have it,” said Hatano.  “My hidden hot spring is in a cave.”

            A cave?  Oh.  That explained how it could be a secret hot spring.  Now Jitsui could see why other people didn’t know about it.  But . . . the town was still preferable.  Other people.  A phone to call Yuuki-san.  Food.  Water.  Heat.  Though technically the hot spring cave had the latter two.

            “How far are each of them?” asked Jitsui thickly.  It was getting colder.  He was worse off now, because the snow that had been on his clothes had melted while he was in the car, but hadn’t evaporated, and now it was refreezing.  Hypothermia could become a very real problem, very soon.

            “The town is . . . about twenty minutes of driving away, on a good day.  Uphill,” said Hatano.  “I don’t know how long it will take to walk there in these conditions.  But I’m guessing at least four times that long.”

            “An hour and twenty minutes,” muttered Jitsui, without really thinking about it.  Instead he was thinking that Hatano was probably being overly optimistic in his estimate.  He would have put it at no less than six times as long.  Probably longer because of the snow.

            “The hot spring cave is . . . on a good day, I could jog there from here in half an hour.  So today . . . longer.  But I think that’s where we need to go, Jitsui,” said Hatano.

            “I agree,” said Jitsui.  He pulled his over coat tighter around himself, and buttoned it up.  “Let’s go.  Quickly please.  I’m cold.”

            Hatano pressed something into his hands.  “Put these on.  Then put your hands in your pockets.”

            “Gloves?  But these are yours.”

            “They’ll fit you.  My hands aren’t that much smaller than yours,” Hatano groused.

            “But you should wear them.”

            “I’ll be fine,” Hatano promised.  “Don’t you know I’ve trained by meditating underneath freezing waterfalls?”

            Jitsui laughed.  There wasn’t much mirth in his laugh.  But he tried.  And he obeyed Hatano and put on the gloves, even though he knew he should have argued more and tried to convince Hatano to wear them.  But Jitsui wasn’t at his best at that moment.  He was still a little stunned from the wreck, and the cold was wearing him down.  They needed to get to shelter quickly.

            Rather than climbing up the slope, Hatano led them further down it, to what seemed like a game trail to Jitsui, but which Hatano claimed was a jogging path.  Jitsui personally thought it was only a jogging path to someone as crazy as Hatano.  Jitsui would have lost the trail three times in the first ten minutes.  Luckily Hatano seemed very familiar with it.  Despite the rapidly changing scenery around them.  Everything looked different when it was covered with snow.  It was disorienting.  And Jitsui really hated it. 

            He started stumbling after about twenty minutes.  Stumbling bad.  Like tripping and face planting bad.  Hatano pulled him back to his feet the first time Jitsui ended up face down in the snow.  The second time he did the same, but cupped Jitsui’s face in his hands and forced Jitsui to look at him. 

            “Wow.  Your hands are still warm,” Jitsui said as he realized this.  “That’s amazing.”

            “Your pupils are the same size.  So this is most likely hypothermia setting in, rather than a concussion,” said Hatano.

            “Yes,” agreed Jitsui.  “I’m sleepy.”

            “Hypothermia,” Hatano said, as if confirming it.  “Sorry, but you can’t sleep, Jitsui.  We have to keep moving.”

            “Right,” Jitsui agreed.  “But can we take a quick break?  Just for a few minutes?”

            “No,” Hatano shut him down.

            “Just for a few minutes?” Jitsui tried again.

            “No means no,” said Hatano.  He took Jitsui’s gloved hand in his, and Jitsui thought about taking off his glove so that he could hold Hatano’s hand with his own bare hand, because it would probably be warmer that way.  But Hatano started pulling Jitsui along with him and Jitsui forgot what he’d been about to do.  “We have to keep moving.”

            Right, Jitsui realized.  Hatano was right.  If you stopped when you had hypothermia and took a break, you’d probably never get started again.  If you fell asleep, chances were high that you would never again awake. 

            He stumbled a few more times while holding Hatano’s hand, but didn’t fall.  Until he did.  Because without warning, Jitsui’s legs went numb.  Just flat out fell asleep, leaving him to fall flat on his face, dragging Hatano down with him.

            “Dammit Jitsui!” Hatano griped.  “Warn me if you’re gonna take a nose dive!”

            “Sssorry,” Jitsui slurred.

            “Oh damn.  Jitsui?”  Hatano slapped his face lightly.  “You still with me?”

            “Can’t feel my legs,” Jitsui reported.  Because there was a part of him that knew Hatano needed a sit rep.  “Don’t know if I can walk more now.”

            “It’s alright,” Hatano said.  “I’ll carry you.”

            “But you’re so small.”

            “Yeah, well, fuck you,” said Hatano.  Jitsui saw that Hatano was taking off his overcoat.  Then putting it on Jitsui.  Then the next thing Jitsui knew, Hatano was giving him a piggyback ride.  It seemed like they were moving faster then.  Which didn’t make sense, because Hatano was walking for both of them, and carrying his satchel of stuff still, so they definitely should have been going slower.  But maybe time was just messed up in Jitsui’s mind because of the hypothermia.  But soon, it seemed like only minutes later, they arrived at a huge sloping rock formation, that jutted out of the mountain.  Hatano set Jitsui down on the ground, and grabbed a rather large, flat looking rock that was leaned up against the rock wall.  When he pulled it away, he revealed a narrow crevice in the rock that disappeared into darkness. 

            “What if there’s a bear inside?” asked Jitsui, as Hatano picked him up again, this time bridal style.

            “Then we’ll have dinner and a blanket,” Hatano deadpanned as he carefully maneuvered them through the extremely narrow opening.  Despite his best efforts, they still ended up scratching themselves against the stone walls a couple times before the room opened up.  Then Hatano set Jitsui down.

            “Oh.  It’s warm in here,” Jitsui realized, as the difference in temperature became noticeable.  It didn’t bother him that he could barely see at the moment.  The warmth was all that mattered. 

            “Yeah.  That’s why we came here,” said Hatano.  “Though this really wasn’t how I planned on showing you this place.”

            Then, to Jitsui’s dismay, Hatano started to leave.

            “Wait!  Come back!  Don’t go!” Jitsui shouted at him.

            “I’m not going far,” said Hatano.  “I left my bag right outside the door, and that’s got a flashlight and a lantern.  And other stuff.”

            Jitsui still watched with wide eyes as his best friend disappeared back out into the storm.  But moments later, he reappeared with his bag.  He opened it up and pulled out the promised flashlight.  Then he used the light from that to help him set up and light the lantern that he’d brought.  And unlike the flashlight which only had its concentrated beam of light, the lantern lit up the whole cave like a lightbulb.  It was a small cave, Jitsui saw now.  About the size of a closet.  The hot spring was in the back of the cave.  That was small too.  Only a little bit bigger than a bathtub.  But heat was radiating from it.  Jitsui reached out toward it with his hands, even though it was several yards away.  The difference in temperature as he stretched toward it was noticeable.

            “Let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” said Hatano, setting the lantern down, and moving so he was right in front of Jitsui.

            “I think I’ll need some help,” Jitsui admitted.  He still felt hazy.  Fuzzy.  But some of his awareness was coming back.  His thoughts were slowly sharpening up.

            “It’s alright.  I’ll help you,” said Hatano.  “You did the same for me last night, after all.”

            “But you didn’t want me to,” said Jitsui thickly.

            “Huh?”

            “You told me to stop.  But I didn’t.  I felt bad about that.  Like I was taking advantage of you, and doing things you didn’t want me to do to you.  Even though I wasn’t taking advantage of you.  Or doing anything but undressing you,” said Jitsui.  “I didn’t want you to ruin your suit.”

            “Jitsui . . . I didn’t tell you to stop.”

            “You did,” said Jitsui.  “And you grabbed onto me.”

            “I was telling you to stay,” said Hatano.

            “What?  Oh.”

            Hatano had peeled his overcoat off Jitsui and tossed it aside.  Then he started unbuttoning Jitsui’s own overcoat. 

            “Now’s probably not the best time for this conversation,” said Hatano, as he worked diligently on the buttons, “But I thought it would be better if we shared a bed again, so you wouldn’t be so cold and keep shivering in your sleep.”

            “Oh.”

            “But I respect your preference not to share a bed with me,” said Hatano, as he peeled Jitsui’s overcoat off him.

            “What?” Jitsui asked dumbly.

            “Your reasons are your own, and you don’t owe me any explanation,” said Hatano.  “Like I said, I respect your decision.”  
            “I wanted to share the bed with you,” Jitsui said.  His voice sounded like a whine to his ears.  “I just didn’t think it was a good thing to do.”

            “It’s alright.  I understand,” said Hatano.

            Jitsui got the feeling that he didn’t.  So he tried to explain.  “I just didn’t want you to get hurt.”

            Hatano paused in the act of stripping off Jitsui’s suit coat.  Then he smiled, but his smile looked very sad.  “It’s alright.  I get it.”

            No.  He didn’t.  Jitsui didn’t know how, but he knew Hatano was misunderstanding this somehow.

            “But, if you don’t want me like that, I’ve got to insist that you stop teasing me,” Hatano said solemnly.  “No more doing things like sucking on my fingers.  Or teasing me about shacking up with me, or trying to make babies with me.  Cause that’s kind of a jerk thing to do, when you know your friend’s interested but you’re not.”

            “What?” asked Jitsui.  He didn’t understand this.  What was Hatano saying?  That he didn’t want Jitsui flirting with him and making passes at him?  Or that he was interested in Jitsui? 

            Hatano had taken off Jitsui’s belt as they were talking, and quickly tossed it onto the pile of his other clothes, like he didn’t want to touch it any longer than he had to.  But he stopped there and stepped back.  “Can you get your pants off by yourself?  They have to come off.  They’re soaked.  But you’re probably more comfortable taking them off than having me take them off you.  Because.  You know why.”

            Jitsui didn’t.  But he did understand the reason for his pants needing to be taken off.  Soaked clothes when you had hypothermia were worse than no clothes.  He managed to struggle out of them.  Then he looked at the hot spring.  Then back at Hatano. 

            Hatano laughed softly.  “Yes.  You’re welcome to use the hot spring.  As long as you don’t mind sharing it with me.  Because I want to use it to warm up too.”

            Jitsui started fumbling with his shirt buttons.  And he tried not to watch as Hatano stripped down himself.  But that was hard even on the best of days.  Impossible on days where hypothermia was clouding his judgment.  Because Hatano’s body fascinated Jitsui.  He was pretty much a study in perfect anatomy.  Despite his small stature, Hatano’s body was covered with lean muscles that rippled just so beneath his skin whenever he moved.  He wasn’t muscle bound, like those meatheads in the army.  It was more like his muscles were compacted and condensed, so they barely showed when he was fully clothed.  But when he was undressed, they were visible to anyone lucky enough to be looking.  Jitsui was still working on his shirt by the time Hatano had gotten his own shirt, and tie off, and let his suspenders fall down to on either side of him.  He glanced at Jitsui and noticed him watching.

            “Do you need help with those buttons?  It might be easier if you took my gloves off,” Hatano said.

            “Oh.  Right.”  Jitsui swallowed and obeyed.  But Hatano came over anyway, and unknotted Jitsui’s tie as Jitsui peeled off the gloves.  Then he made short work of the buttons, quickly unbuttoning them all before stepping back.  Like he thought Jitsui wanted space. 

            Jitsui got the rest of his clothes off on his own.  Though midway through the process he took a short break to watch Hatano slide into the water.  The spring, it seemed, was pretty deep, because when Hatano initially slid into the water, he disappeared completely for a second before resurfacing, gasping adorably, his face flushed from the heat.  Jitsui quickly looked away.

            Finally, he managed to shed the last of his clothes, and he stumbled to the water’s edge, at the end of the pool opposite from where Hatano was.  Jitsui’s legs had gotten the feeling back into them, fortunately.  But unfortunately, they were all tingly, like pins and needles.  Hopefully the water would fix that.  Jitsui crouched, and held onto the side of the pool with one hand, then let his body slide into the water.  His feet went down, down, and further down, and his momentum submerged him fully, except for the arm that was holding onto the side.  Then his feet touched the bottom.  Just barely.  But Jitsui felt comforted in knowing the bottom was there.  And that some of the other spies would have been able to stand comfortably in the water.  But he and Hatano had to hold onto the sides with their arms.  They could only touch the bottom with their feet if their heads were under the water.

            But that was fine.  That was great.  Because the water wasn’t just warm.  It was hot.  And it was seeping straight through him, banishing the last remnants of the snowstorm’s freezing chill.  This . . . this was bliss.  Jitsui couldn’t hold back a moan.

            “Jitsui?  Are you alright?”

            “Yes,” Jitsui said.  “Just . . .enjoying this.  Maybe a little too much.  But it just feels so good to be warm again.”

            “Yes,” Hatano agreed.  He’d moved away from the sides and was treading water.  That way all of his body, except for his head was submerged, and he didn’t have to leave an arm out in the cooler air.  Jitsui copied him.  It was more comfortable that way.  Hatano noticed, and raised one hand out of the water to motion him over.  “There’s a sort of ledge over here that makes a good seat.  It’s small, but I think we’ll both fit on it.”

            Hatano was right.  It was small, but they did both fit on it.  Though their bare hips and thighs were touching, underneath the water.  And somehow what skin of Hatano’s Jitsui could feel beneath the water felt even hotter than the water itself.  Hatano was truly going to be his undoing.

            But Jitsui tried not to obsess over it.  Instead he tried to focus on the water.  How warm it was.  How good it felt after being in that snowstorm.  It was nice that it came all the way up to his neck, though he was sitting now.  And with Hatano there beside him, Jitsui couldn’t help but feel like he had everything he wanted in the world, right there.

            “That guy who hit us . . .” Hatano spoke up suddenly.

            Jitsui looked at him sharply.  Had Hatano realized something about that hit and run driver?  Something Jitsui hadn’t?  Jitsui hadn’t gotten a look at the driver or the car.  The snow had been too thick.  He’d just assumed that it had been some random local.  But had Hatano seen something Jitsui hadn’t?  Was this espionage related?

            “What about him?” asked Jitsui, feeling his tension building.

            “Yuuki-san’s going to hunt him down and destroy him,” said Hatano, his eyes sparkling. 

            Jitsui felt a smile spread across his own face.  “He’ll have to, won’t he?”

            “Of course.  He won’t believe it was a coincidence that two of his spies were forced off the road, even if it was during a snowstorm.  Not until he confirms it.  And then he’s going to bury that guy just out of spite,” said Hatano, smirking.  “Yuuki-san was very attached to that car.”

            “Do you think we’re going to be in trouble for wrecking it?”

            “No.  We didn’t wreck it.  That asshole did,” said Hatano.  “Yuuki-san will be on our side.”

            That was probably true.  Yuuki had always been fair to them, and treated them well.  Well, as well as he treated anyone.  And Jitsui had heard rumors the night before, during their card game, from Kaminaga and Tazaki that Yuuki had grown unusually tolerant and fond of Hatano since coming home from France with him.  Kaminaga attributed it to Yuuki growing desensitized by Hatano’s antics during their trip home.  Tazaki, however, and Fukumoto as well, believed the two had developed some kind of bond.  Jitsui himself was undecided.  He hadn’t seen enough of Hatano and Yuuki interacting yet to judge.  Though he had been surprised by all Hatano managed to get away with during the ice cream outing.  Including how he’d managed to get Yuuki to agree to that outing in the first place.  But Jitsui kind of hoped that Tazaki and Fukumoto were right.  He thought it would be good for Hatano to have a bond like that with Yuuki-san.  Good for Yuuki-san too, since they were all pretty sure Yuuki didn’t really have a family.  But it would definitely be good for Hatano to have someone he could look to if he had a problem.  Someone who could be like a father to him.  Yuuki might not be the most kind and caring person in the world, but he took care of his own.  And he would be a whole lot better than Hatano’s biological father had been. 

            Then Hatano exhaled as he realized something.  “Yuuki-san and the others are going to be worrying about us.  When we don’t come back and we don’t call.”

            “Hopefully they’ll assume we took shelter at an inn without a phone.  They know we’re in Hakone.  I’m sure there are lots of places here that don’t have phones.”

            “Yeah.  They’ll hope that’s what happened.  But they’ll still worry,” said Hatano. 

            “Yes.  But there’s nothing we can do about that now.”

            “No,” Hatano agreed.  Then he sighed again.  “But it’s really weird.  Having people worry about me.”

            Jitsui suddenly felt like a hand was squeezing his heart.  “Hatano –”

            “Sorry.  That probably sounded pretty pitiful, didn’t it?  I didn’t mean for it to,” said Hatano.  “I was just marveling at the novelty of it.”

            “You deserved better,” said Jitsui, deciding to speak his mind.

            “What?”

            “Than your father.  He was a piece of shit,” said Jitsui.  “And whoever else was in your life who knew what was going on and didn’t stop it.  They were pieces of shit too.  You deserved better.”

            Hatano’s eyes went watery for a moment.  Then he blinked quickly.  Then he gave a smug smirk, like that could hide his previous reaction.  “Well, I’ve got it now, at least, right?”

            The phrase “Too little, too late,” came to Jitsui’s mind, unbidden.  Though he couldn’t deny it might be appropriate.  Hatano did have people who cared about him and worried about him now.  And that was clearly more than he’d ever had before.  Hatano seemed to think it was enough.  Jitsui wouldn’t speak against it.  Instead he wrapped an arm around Hatano’s shoulders, without thinking about the position they were in, or the implications of it.  “Yeah,” he agreed.  “You’ve got us now.”

            Hatano went rigid, and his eyes took on a deer in the headlights look.  And then Jitsui realized.  He quickly withdrew his arm. 

            “Sorry,” Hatano said.

            “Why are you apologizing to me?  I’m the one who went and made things awkward.”

            Hatano looked away.  “But I’m the one who stupidly went and fell in lo – never mind.  I’m sorry.  I’m getting out.  I’ve been in here long enough.”

            Hatano started to exit the water.  Jitsui grabbed his wrist, forcing him to stop.

            “Jitsui –”  
            “What were you saying?” Jitsui demanded.  Because it sounded like Hatano was about to say . . . it sounded like he . . . like he was going to say that he “fell in love.”  With . . . Jitsui.

            And that’s when the pieces started falling into place.  The conversation that he’d had with Hatano, while he was disoriented and hypothermic suddenly made sense. 

            _“But, if you don’t want me like that, I’ve got to insist that you stop teasing me.  No more doing things like sucking on my fingers.  Or teasing me about shacking up with me, or trying to make babies with me.  Cause that’s kind of a jerk thing to do, when you know your friend’s interested but you’re not.”_

_“Jitsui . . . I didn’t tell you to stop.  I was telling you to stay.”_

            Hatano . . . Hatano was interested in him.  Jitsui could see that now, crystal clear.  Hatano wanted Jitsui the same way Jitsui wanted him. 

            But Hatano deserved better.  The things Jitsui wanted from him . . . what he would do to him . . .  Jitsui wouldn’t be able to repress his sadistic side forever.  He’d already been tempted to unleash it on Hatano in the past.  He knew Hatano would be unbelievably beautiful when he broke.  And there was a dark part of Jitsui that wanted to see him break so badly.  Which was why Hatano deserved better. 

            But as Hatano stared at Jitsui in uncertainty, Jitsui felt his resolve crumbling. 

            Hatano definitely deserved better.  But he wanted Jitsui.  And he had Jitsui now.  And who knew for how long?  They’d both almost died that day in a freak car accident.  They could have easily perished in the snowstorm.  And they weren’t even on a mission, they were on a freaking date.  Kind of. 

            And Jitsui . . . he really, really wanted Hatano.  And Hatano was right here, and had just admitted to wanting Jitsui too.  And Jitsui wouldn’t be denied any longer.

            He jerked Hatano back down into the water, unbalancing him so that Hatano ended up sliding into his lap.  Then he wrapped one arm around Hatano’s thin waist to hold him in place, and used the other to grab a handful of Hatano’s hair, so he could control his head.  Then he pressed his lips against Hatano’s, none too gently, and kissed the smaller boy like he wanted to devour him. 

 

* * *

 

 

Notes: I should be working on other things.  Like Spy Games, or some of the oneshots I’ve promised.  Or a paper I’ve got due for my class.  But Jitsui was demanding this chapter be written, lol.

 

Probably not what you were expecting?  But hopefully in a good way?  I’ve given Hatano enough grief from head injuries lately, and I didn’t want to get redundant.  Plus, I thought it would be fun to have Hatano taking good care of Jitsui for a change. :)

 

What you have to look forward to next chapter: a steamy, naked make out scene (though I’m keeping it T-rated) and lots of fluffy cuddling.   


	7. Chapter 7

            Kissing Hatano wasn’t like in the few fantasies Jitsui had indulged himself with.  This was one of those rare instances where reality completely crushed the fantasy.  Because even though Jitsui had a very vivid imagination, nothing could compare to actually having Hatano’s warm body right there, on his lap, in his arms, every part of him that Jitsui could touch bare skinned, as Hatano clung to him, kissing him back like he was so desperate for this.  Hatano’s hands had both gone behind Jitsui’s back, one wrapped around him just to hold on, the other reaching up to grab a handful of Jitsui’s hair in turn, so Jitsui wasn’t the only one controlling the kiss.

            In Jitsui’s fantasies, Hatano had submitted very quickly.  But real life Hatano was full of fire and defiance, and would not be dominated so easily.  Example: he did not open his mouth, even when Jitsui’s tongue made it clear it was seeking admittance.  Not even after Jitsui bit his lip, hoping to shock him into opening up.  Instead, Jitsui felt Hatano smirking as he returned his kisses.  Jitsui growled at the cheek of this boy.  Then he dunked him under the water.

            “Wammrph!” Hatano came up spluttering, and Jitsui seized his moment.  He captured Hatano’s lips in a kiss again, and snaked his tongue inside the other boy’s open mouth, running it over his tongue, his teeth, everything he could reach.  And before Hatano could regain his senses, he twisted their bodies, shifting Hatano off his lap and onto the stone ledge that was their seat.  He straddled Hatano then, pinning him there, and leaning him back so Hatano’s upper body was bent out of the water.  All the while continuing his ministrations on Hatano’s mouth, reigning the smaller boy into a more submissive state.  Or trying to.  Hatano accepted the position he was in, but Jitsui got the feeling there was still a lot of fight left in him, and that if they took this further, he would have a full out fight for dominance on his hands.

            Excitement at the very idea of that sparked through Jitsui’s nerves.  But . . . somehow taking this further didn’t feel right.  Not now.  Not yet.  This was still too new.  But there was no need to move too fast.  Better, Jitsui decided to take it slowly, and make the most of each and every step.

            So he put everything he had into his kisses.  All his skill and experience, and he felt Hatano doing the same.  Their tongues clashed in their connected mouths, and both used every trick he knew to pleasure the other with their kisses.  But Jitsui felt a thrill of victory when Hatano was the first to begin moaning against his mouth.  Giving in to the pleasure.  Submitting.

            Jitsui released his hold on Hatano’s hair, and slid both hands to his hips, lifting him further out of the water, and moving him further back onto the stone.  Then he pressed Hatano down so that he was laying flat on his back, and Jitsui lay flush on top of him, as close to Hatano as he could get.  He kept his hands on Hatano’s narrow hips debating . . . reconsidering his earlier decision not to move too fast.  When it came to Hatano, he was always going to want more.  Always.  But now, he decided, it would depend on what Hatano wanted.  He started to slide one hand slowly downward from Hatano’s hip, experimentally, to see how Hatano would react.  He got his answer when he felt Hatano go completely rigid beneath him, and quickly retreated, placing his hand back on Hatano’s bare hip.  Hatano wasn’t ready.  He might have gone along with it because Jitsui wanted it.  But Hatano himself still wasn’t ready.  And Jitsui wouldn’t push him.  He planned to do everything he could to keep from breaking him.

            So they continued kissing and clinging to each other.  And Jitsui enjoyed every minute of it.  Though it was him who finally broke their kisses, gasping breathlessly.  Hatano held his head in place a moment longer, stealing two more quick kisses, before releasing Jitsui, then opening his own eyes, blinking up at him owlishly.  His eyes, Jitsui saw, were completely dilated.  He was sure that wasn’t just because of the lantern light.

            “Well,” Hatano said, smirking cheekily.  “You’re not the worst kisser I’ve ever met.”

            “Oh no?  Well I’m glad to hear it,” said Jitsui, after several gulps for air.  He gave Hatano one more quick kiss, then lowered his head, resting it so that his forehead was against the floor, his lips against the top of Hatano’s shoulder.  Hatano’s arms twined around him, hugging him. 

            They lay like that for several minutes before Jitsui thought to ask, “Is this uncomfortable?  Am I too heavy?”

            “No,” Hatano said simply.  Lazily.

            Jitsui smirked.  Then he moved to plant several quick kisses against Hatano’s neck.  Hatano ran his hand up and down Jitsui’s bare back, like he was either petting him or trying to comfort him.  It felt nice, Jitsui thought.  He wouldn’t mind staying like this forever.  Or so he thought.  But then, without warning, his stomach growled.

            Hatano chuckled lazily.  “Hungry?”

            “Yes.  But I don’t want to move.”

            Hatano wrapped his arms around Jitsui, hugging him again, and then he sat up.  Despite the fact that his stomach muscles had to bear all of Jitsui’s weight, in order for him to do a sit up like that.  Jitsui allowed Hatano to shift him into his lap, and closed his eyes as Hatano pressed a kiss to his temple, then spoke softly, close to his ear.  “We need to dry off, if we’re staying out of the water.”

            “We’re fine,” Jitsui whined.  He still didn’t want to move.  “You don’t really catch colds just from being cold.  Besides, it’s warm in here.”

            “Getting chilled can lower your immune system.  You know that,” said Hatano.  “And we’re still getting hit with the occasional cold draft through the doorway.  Besides, it’s bad for our skin.”

            “Yes Miyoshi,” Jitsui half teased, half griped.  But Hatano was right, and he knew it.  Not drying off would mean dry skin all week.  And though Jitsui would have considered this worth it, it would still be a pain.

            Hatano nuzzled his face against Jitsui’s neck briefly, then shifted Jitsui off his lap, detaching himself.  Jitsui missed his warmth the very moment it was taken away.  But he watched and enjoyed the view as Hatano crossed the tiny cave to retrieve his satchel and pulled a towel out of it.  He brought it back to Jitsui and started using it to dry him off, doing it for Jitsui so Jitsui could just sit there, being lazy and basking in Hatano’s attention.  Then he leaned against Hatano when Hatano finished drying off his body and started ruffling the towel against his hair, getting as much of the water out of that as he could.

            “Don’t lean on me.  I’m still wet,” Hatano said, a note of slight exasperation in his voice.  He dried the parts of Jitsui that had touched him again, before starting to use the towel on himself.

            Then he took out a dry towel from his satchel and wrapped it around Jitsui’s shoulders.  “I’m going to check and see what kind of state our clothes are in,” he said, and leaned in to press another kiss against Jitsui’s temple.  But Jitsui didn’t let him get away that easily.  He grabbed a handful of Hatano’s hair and pulled Hatano back down to him to kiss him on the lips again.  Something Hatano did not object to, by how eagerly he responded.  It was several minutes before Jitsui released him and let him go to his task.  And again, Jitsui watched, appreciating the view. 

            “Well, the bad news is, both our pants are completely soaked from the snow,” said Hatano a moment later.

            “You’re sure that’s bad news?”

            Hatano smirked back.  “But the good news is our underwear’s dry.  And our shirts.  And your waist coat and suit coat.  My suit coat’s soaked, but don’t worry.  My suspenders are okay.”

            “Why’s your suit jacket wet?” asked Jitsui.  Then he remembered.  Hatano had put his overcoat on Jitsui when Jitsui was being overcome by the cold.  “Oh.  Sorry about that.”

            “Don’t be,” said Hatano.  He brought Jitsui his pile of clothes, then started getting dressed himself.  It was regrettable, Jitsui thought.  Getting to see so much Hatano’s bare body was a rare treat.  But he could recognize the necessity of getting dressed.  It was still storming outside, and puffs of snow were blowing into their cave.  Once Hatano was dressed, he went over to the entrance, trying to work something out with the rock that had been used as the door, and angling it so that it kept most of the snow and wind out.  Then he used the wet towel to sort of cover the rest of the entrance, by jamming the edges into crevices in the rock.  The wind could still blow through the wet fabric, but the snowflakes were kept out.  Maybe, over the course of the next few hours, a layer of snow and ice would eventually coat the towel, making it a better barrier against the wind.

            Hatano returned to Jitsui’s side once that was done, and once he’d spread out their overcoats and wet clothes, away from the door and closer to the spring, where they would hopefully dry.  He held in his hands their packages of eggs left over from lunch.

            “For the record, I’d planned to take you somewhere much nicer for dinner,” said Hatano, handing Jitsui one of the packages.

            “And miss out on this?” asked Jitsui.  He then considered the three remaining eggs in his package.  He knew Hatano had the same number.  “Should we save some for tomorrow?  We don’t know how long we’re going to be here.”

            “I have some other stuff,” said Hatano.  “There’s a couple rice balls left over too.  And some snack stuff I brought in case we got hungry while we were walking.  A package of rice crackers, a bag of chestnuts, a candy bar, and some of those red bean buns you like.  We can make it through a couple days, at least, without starving.  But you’re probably right about saving some of the eggs for tomorrow.  I don’t think eating five eggs in one day is that healthy.”

            So they each ate one of their eggs, and put the remainders right by the door, so they’d stay cold.  Then they each had one of the red bean buns, because Jitsui couldn’t resist the temptation.  Afterwards their kisses were sticky, and tasted like the sweet red bean filling inside the confections.  Jitsui thought that there had never been a better flavor of kisses. 

            Then, after that, they started getting ready for bed.  Or rather, Jitsui started getting them ready for bed.  Hatano was being overcome by exhaustion from his healing head injuries.  Jitsui noticed when he started losing steam while they were kissing again.  And since it felt too much like taking advantage of Hatano when he was succumbing to exhaustion like that, Jitsui had put a hold on kissing, and just held Hatano for awhile, cradling him in his arms.  He still could barely believe this was really real.  Hatano, right here in his arms.  In love with him.  Willing to kiss him and curl up with him.  Even though just being with him was enough.  But Jitsui had always had a greedy streak.  And when it came to Hatano, he would always want more.

            He laid Hatano down on the cave floor gently, then Jitsui took off his own suit jacket, and folded it up for them to use as a pillow.  He put it as close to the hot spring as he could put it without it being splashed by the occasional bubbling up of the water.  Then he moved Hatano so that his friend’s head was on the makeshift pillow.  The dry towel, he used as a blanket, to cover their legs and feet.  It wasn’t very big, but it was wide enough to cover them both when they were cuddled up together, and reached up to their waists.  Their socks and shoes had been damp from the snow too, and were left off to dry, but the stone floor was heated by the hot spring, and with the extra insulation provided by the towel, it would keep them from being uncomfortable and cold.

            “Warm,” Hatano muttered, nestling closer to Jitsui.

            “Yes,” said Jitsui.  And it was true.  With the hot spring right beside them, warming the stone cave floor, and the air all around it, and Hatano nestled right up against him, even though the storm still raged outside, Jitsui felt nice and cozy.  In fact, he couldn’t remember if he’d ever felt happier in his life.  He moved so his face was closer to Hatano’s, his forehead resting against Hatano’s forehead.  “You’re so warm.  My sweet sunshine boy.”

            Hatano blinked.  “Huh?”

            “My new nickname for you,” said Jitsui.

            “It’s weird,” slurred Hatano. 

            “Maybe.  But it suits you to a T,” said Jitsui. 

            “Hm.”  The sound Hatano made was noncommittal.  “Jitsui?”

            “Yes, my sweet?”

            “Why didn’t you want . . . want to share a bed since you got home?” asked Hatano.  His eyes were closed, Jitsui saw.  He’d given up the fight to keep them open.  But his mind was still awake, at least for the moment, it seemed.  Jitsui held him tighter as he answered his question.

            “I did want to share a bed with you when I got back,” he said.  “I really, really wanted to.  But I was afraid to.  I was worried that I might knock my head into yours while we were asleep and hurt you.”

            “I won’t break that easily.”

            “Head injuries are bad.  We both know that.  I was really scared about yours,” Jitsui said.  He squeezed Hatano even tighter.  “I still am.”

            Hatano sighed.  “I’m sorry.  But I’m getting better.  I really am.”

            “I know.  And Lt. Colonel Yuuki talked with me a little last night.  About your mission in France.  He didn’t give me any details.  But he told me you did well.  And that he had very few complaints about how you acted on your mission,” said Jitsui.  “I’m sorry for thinking you’d messed up.”

            “S’alright,” Hatano slurred.

            “I still want to hear about your mission,” said Jitsui.  “The rest of it.”

            “T’morrow,” promised Hatano.

            “Hopefully tomorrow we’ll be getting out of here,” said Jitsui.

            “Still a long walk back to . . . anywhere.”

            “Hm, that’s true.”

            “So tomorrow.”

            “Why don’t you let go?” asked Jitsui.  “Go to sleep now and get some rest.”

            “Cause you’ll be bored and lonely once I do,” muttered Hatano.

            “No.  The novelty of being able to hold you like this again hasn’t worn off yet,” said Jitsui.  “It never did, you know.  It’s always amazed me how warm you are.  And how nice it feels to hold you.”

            “You feel nice too,” Hatano muttered sleepily.  “Smell nice.  Are nice.  S’why I love you.”  Then he sighed.  And by the way his breathing changed, Jitsui knew he had fallen asleep. 

            He smiled adoringly at his friend.  Boyfriend.  Who was still his best friend.  The best friend he’d ever had.  Now safe and snug in his arms.  It was impossible to know what the future held for them.  The life they’d chosen was full of danger and risks.  Chances were high they’d be separated again, at some point, for a long period of time.  And in their line of work . . . seduction was a tool.  Most likely one they’d have to use at some point.  On people other than each other.  But Jitsui didn’t care.  He was the one Hatano would be coming back to.  And Hatano would be the one he was coming back to.  Always.  As long as they were both alive, no matter what happened or what they had to do, the two of them would be alright together. 

            “I love you too,” Jitsui whispered, even though Hatano couldn’t hear him.  Then he blew out the lantern and buried his face in Hatano’s hair.  Then he closed his eyes, basking in the warmth and bliss until sleep finally took him.

 

* * *

 

 

Notes: So? What did you think?  Was it what you were hoping for?  Or are you like Jitsui who will always want more, lol? 

 

I really am going to work on something else next.  I was just on a roll for writing this fic, and things were flowing too nicely to stop. 

 

Side note: my headcannon is that Jitsui likes coming up with pet names for Hatano.  “My sweet sunshine boy” shortened sometimes to just “my sweet.”  And there will be more to come. :)  Hatano thinks it’s weird, and whines about it a little, but secretly likes it.  And Hatano would endure much worse than cheesy nicknames to make Jitsui happy. 


	8. Chapter 8

            The next morning wasn’t awkward.  Not even a little.  Jitsui had worried it would be.  But like everything else with Hatano, transitioning from being just best friends to being best friends who were also boyfriends was easy.  Seamless.

            The storm was still raging outside when they woke up.  Hatano was the first to actually awake, but lay there, unmoving, holding onto Jitsui, not ready to get up yet.  Or not willing to.  The novelty of being able to hold each other again clearly still appealed to Hatano too.  When Jitsui awoke, the first thing he saw was Hatano staring at him with such a soft warm look in his eyes.

            “Good morning,” Hatano said softly.

            “Good morning,” Jitsui returned, then leaned forward for a kiss.  Hatano met him halfway.  It was a great way to start the day.

            For breakfast they both had another egg.  They decided to save the last two for tomorrow’s breakfast, if the storm didn’t break before midday.  The eggs were probably the most nutritious and filling food they had.  With the possible exception of the chestnuts.  So it was best to use them to start their day.  The rest of the morning was spent talking.  About everything and nothing.  Bantering back and forth as they always did.  The same kind of conversations they would have had if they’d been at D-Agency.  It was nice.  Especially considering . . .

            “I was supposed to start my reconditioning hell today,” Jitsui remembered.

            “Even D-Agency spies are entitled to the occasional snow day,” said Hatano sagely, smirking.

            “I hope the others aren’t worrying too much.”

            That wiped the smirk off Hatano’s face.  “Me too,” he said.  “Though I think they trust us enough to know we’d find shelter somewhere.  I didn’t survive both the Nazis and the French Resistance just to be done in by some storm.”

            “You never did finish telling me about your mission,” said Jitsui.  “And you said you would today.”

            So Hatano dove back into the tale of his time in France, picking up where he’d left off the night before last, then segueing into the many small tasks and missions he’d been given to do while he was undercover.  There were, surprisingly to Jitsui, a great many of them.  Yuuki-san had kept Hatano busy while he was in his role.  Jitsui’s own mission had been much less involved.  Simply reporting Shirahata’s actions to his handler, and being ready in case any enemy operatives tried to make a move against the old man.  Overall, Jitsui had taken very few risks.  He hadn’t needed to.  Where Hatano seemed to have been taking risks out of necessity every month.  He finished a story about how he had been trailed by a civilian who planned on reporting him as suspicious, based solely on the fact that he was a foreigner.  Then he launched into the story of his final mission in France, where Yuuki-san had sent him the order to infiltrate and sound out the French Resistance.  Finally, he wrapped it up with the story of his misadventures on the Hakusan Maru as it made the voyage back to Japan with him and Yuuki on it.

            “And then I heard Yuuki-san scream.  He was shouting at the porter to get away from me.  And he sounded so angry.  I was almost afraid,” Hatano laughed.  “I’d never heard him sound like that before.  It was a little scary, he sounded so mad.  So I took that as my cue to keep pretending to be unconscious.  I figured Yuuki-san’s a much better actor than me.  It was better to let him handle the situation and keep playing the unconscious teenage victim, for the sympathy card.  Yuuki-san played the staff around us at the time like a fiddle, then carried me back to our cabin.  We pretended that I’d woken up when the captain and the shipboard doctor came.  We got rid of them pretty quickly.  Then Yuuki-san told me my plan was effective and that I did well.”  Hatano beamed as he remembered the praise.  “The rest of the trip back was pretty boring.  But I slept through a lot of it.  There are still a few holes in my memory.  Mostly about France.  But I’m pretty sure I remember all the important bits.  And I need less sleep now than I did on the trip.  So I promise, I’m getting better.  I want to get completely back to good so I can go back to being useful.”

            “You were plenty useful on my mission, if I remember right,” said Jitsui.  He leaned forward to wrap his arms around Hatano and pull the smaller boy to him.  Because it had been about an hour since the last time he’d touched Hatano and he was starting to feel a bit lonely.  And chilly.

            Hatano came to him willingly, and rested against him.  Jitsui could feel his warmth even through their layers of clothes.  Well, he was wearing more than Hatano.  Their pants were still damp, and had been left off to dry.  And Hatano’s jacket was still wet too, so Hatano was just dressed in his underwear and shirt.  Jitsui had his waistcoat and suit jacket too.  He wondered if he should take off his jacket and wrap it around both him and Hatano, worried that Hatano might be chilly too.  So he offered, but Hatano turned him down.

            “I don’t get cold very easily,” said his boyfriend. 

            “I wish I didn’t,” groused Jitsui.

            “I’m glad you do,” said Hatano cheekily.  “That just gives me an excuse to warm you up.”

            “Hm.  There is that,” Jitsui said, smirking back.

            “It always made me happy being able to do that for you,” said Hatano, nestling closer to him.  “Back before.  I’ve always liked being close to you.”

            “And I’ve always felt the same.”

            They spent some time in silence.  The two of them didn’t always need words.  Often, just being together had been enough for them, back before, when they were still just friends.  Now was no different.  Just being in one another’s company was enough to make them happy.

            It was still storming around noon.  When they checked outside, they saw that approximately a foot of snow had accumulated.  Give or take several inches either way.  It was hard to tell because the wind was blowing so hard that the snow on the ground was getting blown into drifts. 

            “We’re not getting out of here today,” Hatano surmised. 

            “I hate this weather,” said Jitsui.  “Why can’t the whole world be like Hawaii?”

            Hatano smirked at him.  “Surely this isn’t all bad?”

            “Huh?  I can’t think of a single good thing to come out of this storm,” Jitsui said, mock seriously.  Hatano started pouting, until Jitsui started kissing him again.  It was an excellent way to kill time, if Jitsui did say so himself.

            Lunch was a couple of rice crackers.  More of a snack than a meal, but Jitsui and Hatano were both a little worried about how long they might be here.  They decided, by mutual consensus, that if the storm hadn’t stopped by tomorrow, they would skip lunch tomorrow.  If they were still there the day after tomorrow . . . well, they’d decide how to ration the rest of their food then.  Though that might mean dropping down to just one meal a day.  If they did that, Jitsui thought they could probably go another two or three days before they ran out of food.  It wouldn’t be pleasant, but they wouldn’t starve to death.

            They got in the hot spring again in the early afternoon, so that their hair would have time to dry before bed this time.  Jitsui sat on the stone ledge.  Hatano sat in his lap.  And to Jitsui, that was perfect bliss.  Being in the warm water, with Hatano in his arms.  They stayed in probably a bit longer than they should have.  Jitsui was a bit dizzy when they finally got out.  And not just from kissing Hatano.  Breathing in the steam from the water for too long had made him light headed. 

            He was simultaneously both pleased and disappointed that when they got out, Hatano checked, and deemed their clothes that had gotten soaked yesterday dry enough to wear.  Pleased, because his legs were warmer when he had his pants on.  But disappointed because Hatano’s bare legs were so nice to look at.  After getting dressed, they curled up together on the warm stones near the spring, just resting, both tired from so much kissing and breathing in so much steam.  But it wasn’t like there was much else to do there.  If they ever came back here again to enjoy themselves, Jitsui would make sure they came better equipped next time.  With bedrolls, or at least blankets, to make for something softer to lie on.  A book or two.  More lantern oil.  They’d decided to turn off the lantern right after dinner that night, to conserve fuel.  If they were still there tomorrow, they would be spending more time in the dark, and likely run out of oil before tomorrow was up.

            “Tell me about your mission,” Hatano requested suddenly.  “I haven’t heard how you spent the last year.”

            “My mission wasn’t anything like yours,” said Jitsui.  “At least not until the tail end, when Wind Agency came and made a mess of everything, and my role got . . . I’m not sure what the word for it is . . .”

            “Written out of the script?” suggest Hatano.

            “Yes.  That works.”  Jitsui hadn’t made any mistakes.  But his cover had been ruined by those idiots.  Even if he hadn’t revealed what he really was to Gamou, Wind Agency’s actions would have made it so that Shirahata wouldn’t have trusted him anymore.  But his role had always been intended to bait in enemy agents, so it was inevitable, he supposed.  “But right up until the end, it was extremely boring work.  The most fun I had were at my check ins.  Getting to see the others.  Reporting what I’d seen.  But Yuuki-san didn’t make requests of me or give me any submissions.  For all intents and purposes, I was a college student and a servant.”

            “What did you study?” Hatano asked.

            Jitsui smiled.  “Literature.”

            “Hm.  I’m sure that suited you.”

            “Yes.  I love reading.”

            “You do?  Really?” asked Hatano, feigning surprise.  “I had no idea.  You should have said something about that.”

            “Quiet, you.”  Jitsui shut him up with a kiss. 

            “Tell me about the books you’ve read,” said Hatano.  “Tell me about anything.  I entertained you all morning with my stories.  Fair is fair.”

            He was right.  So Jitsui did his best to be interesting for the next hour, telling Hatano little stories of little consequence.  Like how his handlers had rotated amongst Tazaki, Fukumoto, Amari, and Kaminaga, and what he’d learned check ins with each of them meant.  And what books he’d read that were good, and which ones weren’t.  He tried to be interesting.  He really did.  But as Jitsui feared, his stories weren’t really that interesting.  And Hatano ended up falling asleep.  Later he would claim that he’d done so because he was tired from being in the water, and comfortable, lying there in Jitsui’s arms, but Jitsui was pretty sure that was just him trying to be polite.  But at the time, he took it in stride and blew out the lantern to save oil.  He thought about trying to nap too, but Jitsui really wasn’t sleepy.  And he realized that he’d rather stay awake.  Too much of his time spent close to Hatano had always been spent being asleep.  Not enough of it had ever been spent awake, drinking in Hatano’s warmth and marveling at his closeness.  So Jitsui tried to make up for wasted time now.

            And now was better.  Now he could do things that he hadn’t been able to do before, like run his hands over Hatano’s body, fingers tracing the muscles of his arms and back through his shirt.  Twining fingers through Hatano’s silky hair.  And pressing his lips against Hatano’s cheeks or neck, for a quick taste, or just to inhale his scent.  Things he’d wanted to do before, but hadn’t because it would have been weird if Hatano had awoken to him doing those things before. 

            The idea that Hatano was his now was still a novelty. It was an idea Jitsui loved.  He couldn’t remember ever wanting anything or anyone as much as he wanted Hatano.  And he’d never been happier than he was now that he finally had him.  Even though he still wanted more.  Wanted to go further with Hatano, and do all sorts of things to him, and with him, that would end with Hatano right back in his arms again, but exhausted for completely different reasons.  He wanted to see Hatano’s face when he was at the very crest of pleasure, just as much as he wanted to see his face when he was overwhelmed and in pain.  But Jitsui could wait.  However long it took Hatano to be ready to take another step.

            Jitsui did wonder why Hatano wasn’t ready now.  It wasn’t like Hatano was a blushing virgin or anything.  Well, Jitsui didn’t think he was a virgin.  Going out and getting laid hadn’t been a required part of D-Agency’s training or anything.  Just learning the ropes of seduction, and techniques.  And there had also been that rather interesting lesson on how sex worked for homosexuals, that at least half of them hadn’t needed.  And that had made Lieutenant Sakuma’s face flame bright red for the quarter of the class he’d managed to endure, before he stormed out in a huff.  That had been funny.

            Maybe Hatano was hesitant to go further right now because this was his first time being with another man.  Or maybe . . . maybe it was that this was his first time being with someone who he actually cared about.  Or someone who actually cared about him.  Hatano had never mentioned past relationships the way a lot of the others had, not naming names, but just bragging about the fact that those long term relationships had in fact existed.  Jitsui had taken that to mean Hatano had been more of a one night stand kind of lover.

            Or maybe Jitsui really would be Hatano’s first.  What he knew about Hatano . . . he hadn’t had much freedom before coming to D-Agency.  A few comments he’d made suggested that his father had dominated his life when he wasn’t at school.  His martial arts training had been very strict, so he hadn’t been able to do any afterschool activities.  And it wasn’t likely he’d had the time to screw anyone during the school day.  And he hadn’t, Jitsui remembered, ever gone home with anyone, rather than come back to the Agency, or the temporary schools they’d had during training.  Jitsui knew this for a fact.  Hatano had flirted and been very suggestive at times, but he’d always come home with Jitsui.  So maybe Jitsui really would be Hatano’s first.  The thought excited Jitsui very much, even though he knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up.  Hatano was too beautiful to have lived this long and not have lost his virginity.  But the thought of being the first one to bury himself in Hatano’s heat, and hold him as he shuddered against both the pain and pleasure . . . those thoughts were so intoxicating.  But whether Hatano was still a virgin or not, Jitsui knew that however long he had to wait for his boyfriend to be ready would be worth it.  He pressed a kiss to Hatano’s forehead, and closed his eyes, since he could barely see anything anyway, and just rested there, wrapped up with Hatano, for awhile.

            He felt it when Hatano awoke.  His breathing changed, very slightly.  If Jitsui hadn’t been holding him, he wouldn’t have noticed.  Then he felt Hatano tense, very slightly, realizing the position he was in.  Then he felt as Hatano relaxed completely, as he realized that it was Jitsui’s arms he was in.  Not some stranger’s, or an enemy’s.  He had, Jitsui realized, either recognized Jitsui by the way he felt, or by the way he smelled.  Either was possible.  They’d shared a bed so many times in the past, Hatano was very familiar with him.

            “Have a good nap?” Jitsui asked, nuzzling his face against Hatano’s neck.

            “Mm.  Yes,” said Hatano, still sounding sleepy.  Then, “Oh!  You were talking.  I’m sorry.”

            “I told you listening to me would be boring,” said Jitsui.

            “No, it wasn’t that,” protested Hatano quickly.  “You just felt so nice to hold, and so warm, and I was tired from the hot spring.”

            “A likely story.”

            “It’s true,” whined Hatano.  “You should believe me.”

            “I believe you’d lie to be nice to me,” said Jitsui.  “Because you love me.”

            “I do love you,” Hatano agreed.  “But I’m telling the truth.”

            “Mmhmm.”  Jitsui rolled so that he was on top of Hatano, pinning him to the ground with his weight, and kissed him.  He was aiming for Hatano’s mouth, but it was so dark, he missed and got his nose instead.  Oh well.  He knew perfectly well how cute Hatano’s nose was.

            “Oh.  Listen,” said Hatano.

            “Hm?  To what?”  Jitsui tried to listen but he couldn’t hear anything.  And then he realized, that was what Hatano was talking about.  “Oh.”

            “The storm stopped,” Hatano said. 

            “And if it stays stopped, we can leave tomorrow,” said Jitsui.  “I don’t know whether to be happy or disappointed about that.”

            “If we stayed here too long, in this small room, with nothing to occupy us, we’d end up wanting to kill each other,” said Hatano.  “Though I wouldn’t have minded a bit more time here with you all to myself.  Minus the concerns about starving.  But with those off my mind, it would have been very enjoyable.”

            “What do you mean with nothing to occupy us?” asked Jitsui.  “I can think of a few ways, using your body, to occupy myself.”

            “Likewise.  But we can only occupy ourselves that way so long before we pass out,” said Hatano after a short pause.

            “Hatano, my sweet?  Are you blushing?” asked Jitsui, smiling wickedly.

            “No.”

            Jitsui put a hand to Hatano’s cheek.  “You are.  Your skin is warmer than normal.”

            “Like you can tell by touching with your fingertips,” argued Hatano.  “Maybe if you’d used the back of your hand, you could make an argument for it, but your fingertips and palm?  Nah ah.  Now where’s the flashlight?  Let’s get a little light so we can see enough to light the lantern, and get a lot of light.”

            Jitsui rolled off Hatano and reached for where he knew the flashlight to be.  He turned it on as per Hatano’s wishes.  Hatano then proceeded to light the lantern, then Jitsui turned the flashlight off. 

            “I’m not pressuring you, by the way,” Jitsui told Hatano.

            “Huh?”

            “To engage in any of those ways of occupying ourselves I hinted at,” said Jitsui.  “If you’re not ready, it’s alright.  I’ll wait however long you need.”

            “Who says I’m not ready now?” demanded Hatano, trying to be defiant.  But that wasn’t one of Hatano’s better bluffs, and Jitsui saw right through it.

            “When we were kissing the first time, and I started to try to do more, you went rigid,” said Jitsui, solemnly.  “I could tell you were scared, so I stopped.”

            “You just surprised me is all.  You didn’t have to stop.”

            “No,” said Jitsui.  “I know you, Hatano.  You were scared, and you weren’t ready.  And I’m telling you now, as someone who cares about you very much, to take as long as you need to get ready.  However long that takes, I’ll wait.  You’re more than worth it.  And I’m going to do everything I can to keep myself from hurting you.  I’m not going to pressure you into anything before you’re ready.”

            He watched Hatano flounder for several seconds, trying to decide what to say, discarding several options before finally deciding on one.  “Yeah, well . . . I’ll try not to take too long.  You’re perfect, by the way.”

            “What?”

            “You’re perfect,” said Hatano.  “Everything about you.”

            “I’m not,” said Jitsui.  “But I try to be, for you.”

            They had an early dinner, because they were both hungry, since lunch had been so meagre.  A couple chestnuts each, and the last of the red bean buns Hatano had brought.  It didn’t fill them up, but they weren’t hungry at the end of their meal.  Despite the storm breaking, they decided not to splurge.  There was always the chance of a second storm rolling up, or the chance that this just might be a break in the storm and it would pick up again during the night.  And neither wanted to risk having any painful, foodless days ahead of them.

            “We’re lucky it’s us here, and that we’re small,” Jitsui said, once they’d finished eating, and laid down for bed, blowing out the lantern, and leaving them in the dark again.  “Bigger people need more food.”

            “I usually don’t like being small,” Hatano admitted ruefully.  “But I guess it came in handy just this once.”

            Jitsui smirked in the dark.  “Well I love that you’re small.  That you’re smaller than me.  You being so tiny just makes you even cuter.”

            “I’m three centimeters shorter than you.  Don’t be so arrogant,” groused Hatano.  But his actions belied his words, because he draped his suit coat over them both, like a blanket, then cuddled up against Jitsui, warming him right up again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Notes: Too much fluff?  Perhaps.  But I regret nothing!  lol.

 

This fic is on the wind-down, I think.  Maybe one more chapter, then an epilogue, I think.  But I have more fics set in this series planned, never fear. :)  Next up in this verse, is going to be a fic that bridges Coming Home with aLIvE.  Then I’ll be working on some follow up fics to aLIvE.  And somewhere, in the hopefully near future (I say hopefully, because the holidays are right around the corner which means chaos for me, but I’ll do my best) a oneshot about Hatano and Jitsui which will hopefully satisfy all those who were disappointed things didn’t go further between the mini angels when they were in the hot spring. 


	9. Chapter 9

            The next morning was calm and clear.  The storm had not started again in the night.  Nor was there any trace of another one on the horizon.  The sky was bright blue with scattered wispy clouds.  Not the thick, white clouds that layered the sky before a big snow.

            “We’ll come back sometime,” Jitsui told Hatano, smiling at Hatano’s unreadable expression because he knew Hatano was feeling the same way he did himself about this.  They both wanted more time to spend with just each other.  But they were both glad to be getting out of there, and having a change of scenery.

            “Or we’ll go somewhere else,” said Hatano, returning Jitsui’s smile.  “Somewhere with a bed, maybe.  If you’d like that.”

            “I would like that.”

            “I thought you would,” Hatano said.  He leaned across the distance between them to kiss Jitsui on the lips. 

            “We’re going to have to be careful about doing this soon,” said Jitsui after they broke the kiss.

            “Why?  All the others are going to know without us even saying anything.  That’s what we get for living with a bunch of nosy spies,” said Hatano.

            “Sakuma-san’s going to be the last to know.  He won’t approve.”

            “No one cares about him.”

            “But he’ll be obnoxious and make things difficult.  And Lt. Colonel Yuuki might not like two of his spies being in a relationship.  Or flaunting that they’re in a relationship,” pointed out Jitsui.

            “I don’t think he’ll care as long as it doesn’t affect our performance on missions,” said Hatano. 

            “I still don’t think he’d like the idea that we have a loyalty to each other that could rival our loyalty to him,” said Jitsui.

            “Maybe not.  But I think you’re underestimating him,” said Hatano.  “I think he knew this was coming before we did.  He said something to me –”

            “What did he say to you?” asked Jitsui.

            “Nothing definitive.  Just little things that could be like hints that he knew I liked you.  If he’d wanted to stop us from happening, he certainly could have arranged something,” said Hatano.  “I’m sure there’s some boring person he knows of who he could invent a reason for me to tail in another city, so I’d be away from you, but not in any danger of aggravating my head injuries.”

            “Hm.  You’re probably right.”

            “But still, you’re probably right too,” said Hatano.  “No need to flaunt our happiness.  I guess that is kind of obnoxious.”

            “We’ll just have to work on snagging more moments alone, just the two of us.” 

            “We will.  I look forward to it.”

            They left the cave, after sealing the entrance again with the rock.  They knew someone could follow their trail through the snow right back to it and find it, but there wasn’t much they could do about that.  Though chances were fair to good that no one would bother.  Walking miles through deep snow on a whim wasn’t something most people would do, even if the path they were following was already broken for them.

            It took Hatano and Jitsui longer to get out of there than it did to get there.  The snow was much deeper now.  Higher than their knees in some places, thanks to the drifting.  They slogged on for an hour before they made it back to the site of their car crash.  And the road.  They left the car where it was and kept walking toward the town.  The road wasn’t in much better shape than the deep woods.  At least not for a long time.  No cars or plows had come through to clear it.  Which wasn’t much of a surprise since there weren’t many people living in this area.  It was the off season for tourism anyway, even if the tourism industry hadn’t been floundering.

            Several hours later they made it to the town.  Thankfully, before they got there, they reached roads that had seen traffic, so they hadn’t had to wade through the snow for the last few miles.  But they were both very cold by that time.  Even Hatano was shivering a little bit by then.  Jitsui was shivering terribly and had been for awhile.

            “Store,” Hatano said, pointing.  “There’s a payphone there.  I’ll go use it.  You go to that restaurant and get us a table.” 

            Jitsui looked in the direction where Hatano was pointing, to what appeared to be a noodle shop.  A path had been shoveled to its steps, the steps swept of snow, and an Open sign hung on its door.  They could get a hot meal there, and warm up, and right now that sounded like heaven.

            “You come too,” Jitsui insisted.

            “Someone has to call Yuuki-san.”

            “You come too.”

            “We need to call Yuuki-san, but that’s a one person job,” said Hatano.  “I’ll take care of that.  You go warm up.”

            “You come too,” Jitsui said a third time.  “Or I’ll bite.”

            Hatano stared at him deadpan for several seconds, then shrugged.  “Maybe the restaurant has a payphone too.”

            So they trudged up to the restaurant and were hit with a blast of blissfully warm air the moment they opened the door, along with the scents of freshly made noodles and soup broth that had Jitusi’s mouth watering instantly.  He dimly heard the calls of welcome, and the exclamation from the hostess that they looked half frozen.  And he heard Hatano make excuses to set the hostess’s mind at ease, and request a table.  They were led to a booth near the room’s heater.  Jitsui wasted no time positioning himself as close to it as he could. 

            “Oh, one more thing,” said Hatano before the hostess could depart.  “Do you happen to have a payphone?  I need to call my grandfather’s neighbor and ask him to tell my grandfather what happened.  If he doesn’t hear from us, he’ll wait up late into the night worrying about us, not knowing we’re delayed.”

            “We have one.  It’s in the back hall, near the rest rooms,” the hostess said.  “But another gentleman just asked to use it.  He might still be using it.”

            “Thank you,” Hatano said politely. 

            “Wait here and warm up,” Jitsui told Hatano. 

            “Funny, that’s what I was about to tell you,” said Hatano cheekily.  He removed his overcoat and suit jacket, since the jacket was hopelessly wrinkled, with the threads all fraying from the abuse it had seen the past few days, thus it stood out.  Jitsui’s was wrinkled but not fraying, since it hadn’t come in contact with water.  But he knew his would stand out too.  “Start taking off some layers, Jitsui.”

            “I’m still cold.”

            “Please think,” Hatano requested.  “Your coat is cold from all the time spent outdoors.  Your coat is insulated.  Right now it’s insulating you with the cold.  The air in here is warmer than your coat.  Hence, you’ll be warmer,faster, if you remove it.”

            Jitsui considered.  Then started pulling off Hatano’s gloves.  “I hate it when you make sense.”

            “Warm yourself up,” Hatano said.  “I’m going to call Yuuki-san.”

            “Fine.  Then I’m coming too,” said Jitsui, as he struggled out of his overcoat.  “But let’s make it quick.  I want to be back before they bring us hot tea.”

            When they went into the back hallway where the pay phone was located, they got a surprise. 

            “Tazaki?”

            Tazaki had been on the phone.  He jumped at being addressed, and twisted to look at them.  His expression went from startled to relieved.  “Belay that, sir.  I just found them.  Or rather they found me.  Hatano, Jitsui . . . you look half frozen.”

            “He’s half frozen,” said Hatano.  “I’m only about a quarter.  Let me talk to Yuuki-san.”

            Tazaki handed Hatano the phone.  Then he peeled off his suit jacket and draped it around Jitsui’s shoulders.  Unlike Jitsui’s, which had been permeated with the cold, Tazaki’s was nice and warm.  So Jitsui flashed Tazaki a grateful smile.  “Yuuki-san sent me here as soon as the roads to Hakone were open, to find you two.  Since you didn’t call.”

            “We couldn’t call, we weren’t in town,” said Hatano, seemingly speaking to both Yuuki and Tazaki.  “We got caught in the mountains during the storm, and were in a car accident.  Someone hit us from behind and knocked us off the road.  The car’s totaled – no, sir.  Yes, I’m sure.  Yes.  I’m sure.  I’d know if I hit my head, Yuuki-san.  Probably.  There’s a chance I wouldn’t remember anything at all if I hit my head, including that I’d hit my head, but since I remember everything else, and don’t remember hitting my head, the safe money is that I did not hit my head.  Jitsui, tell Yuuki-san I didn’t hit my head.”  The phone was thrust at Jitsui.  Jitsui took it.

            “I apologize for any worry we caused, sir,” said Jitsui.  “We had to take shelter in a cave Hatano knew of, from the storm.  And please let me assure you, he did not hit his head.  I was concerned as well, but he came through the crash unscathed.”

            “And you?” Yuuki asked curtly.

            “I’m fine as well,” Jitsui said, feeling a strangely warm pang at his boss’s concern.

            “Do you know who caused the crash?” Yuuki asked.

            “No, sir.  The driver fled the scene before we could extricate ourselves from the wreck.  I’m inclined to believe it was a garden variety hit and run.  However, we have no proof to back up or refute that claim,” said Jitsui.

            “Return to D-Agency with Tazaki.  One of the others will run point on that investigation, in case you two were specifically targeted,” said Yuuki.

            “Yes sir.”

            “Now put Tazaki back on.”

            Jitsui obeyed.  Tazaki took the phone and listened as Yuuki relayed his new orders.  Then he bid their boss goodbye and hung up the phone. 

            “I’m to bring you two home, after ensuring you’re in no danger of hypothermia or frostbite,” said Tazaki.  “That sounds to me like Yuuki-san’s way of saying to get you boys a hot meal.”

            “Alright, you twisted my arm into it,” said Hatano.

            “Let’s go back to our booth.  They’ll be bringing hot tea soon,” said Jitsui. 

            Tazaki joined them at their booth.  His presence was explained away as him being their uncle, which Tazaki raised an eyebrow at, but the waitress did not.

            “I’m not that much older than you,” said Tazaki once the waitress was gone.

            “How do you know?” challenged Hatano as a matter of point.

            “I was talking to Jitsui,” snarked Tazaki.  “We all know you’re only like ten, so I am, in fact, quite a bit older than you.  More than twice your age, actually.”

            Hatano snickered.  “Don’t you mean more like four times if that’s what you’re basing your calculation on?”

            Jitsui smiled at their banter, not displeased with Tazaki’s presence at all.  He had his uses.  Specifically, with his arrival, it gave him a reason to sit on the same side of the booth as Hatano and leach warmth from Hatano.  Doing that, when it was just the two of them would have looked odd. 

            The long awaited hot tea arrived a few minutes later.  Jitsui wrapped both hands around his cup, savoring its warmth even before he lifted it to his lips and took a sip.  “Mmmm,” Jitsui said, as the hot liquid warmed him right up.

            “It’s that good,” Hatano agreed. 

            They ordered their meals then.  Hot ramen bowls sounded like literally the best thing in the world at that moment.  Then they made small talk with Tazaki while they waited for their food to arrive.  Jitsui could tell Tazaki was sizing them up.  Probably trying to tell what, if anything, had changed in their relationship.  Jitsui knew that he had been a little too obvious about his interest in Hatano.  Maybe Hatano had also been a bit too obvious to the others about his interest in Jitsui too.  He kind of had the feeling now that everyone had known but them.  It was a little embarrassing to have been the last to know.  If it had been one of their games, he and Hatano would have definitely lost that round.  But then, they were together now, so in a sense, it still felt like they’d won. 

            Jitsui felt like he and Hatano were acting the way they always had in the past, in front of Tazaki that day.  Even though there was a whole new side to their relationship now, things also felt kind of like they were back to normal.  He guessed this was the new normal.  Back to being best friends again.  Though now they were best friends who occasionally kissed, and couldn’t wait to get their hands on each other, and get some alone time.  They just had to kind of hide that part. 

            If Tazaki realized there was anything different between them now, he didn’t give any hints.  But he did seem to realize there was more to what had happened than they told him initially.

            “You both seem really clean for having spent two days in a cave,” he commented.  Kaminaga would have probably teasingly added that they didn’t smell like they needed baths either, but Tazaki was too polite to reference something like that.

            Jitsui glanced at Hatano.  The hot spring was his secret to reveal or not.  To Tazaki, Hatano decided to reveal.

            “The cave I took us to had a hot spring in it,” said Hatano.  “So we weren’t as uncomfortable as we might have been otherwise.”

            “A hot spring, huh?” Tazaki looked impressed.  And also a little like he would enjoy subtly teasing them about this.  He looked at Jitsui specifically.  “I bet you enjoyed that.”

            “Yes,” said Jitsui.  “As its name suggests, it was nice and hot.  It helped cure my hypothermia.”

            Tazaki winced.  “You had hypothermia?”

            “Yes.  I didn’t do so well on the trek there,” Jitsui admitted.

            “Which was kind of my fault,” said Hatano.  “When we got to the car, I had him get in and start the car.  So he was in there long enough for all the snow on his clothes to melt and saturate the cloth.  After the wreck, it refroze inside the cloth.”

            “That was not your fault,” Jitsui said frowning.  “You couldn’t have known we’d be in a wreck.”

            Hatano shrugged, but there was still guilt in his expression.  Jitsui wanted to grab him and kiss him until it went away.  He settled for seizing Hatano’s hand underneath the table.  Tazaki would realize what they were doing, he knew, but this was hardly the first time they’d held hands at a dinner table.  And at other times, they’d even done it while they were eating.

            “And you took good care of me,” he reminded Hatano, giving his hand a squeeze.  “When I couldn’t walk anymore, you carried me the rest of the way.”

            “It wasn’t that far,” Hatano said. 

            “You still saved me,” said Jitsui.  “I would have laid down and taken a nap if not for you, and never woken up.”

            “Yeah, well, I couldn’t let that happen, could I?” said Hatano.  He seemed very relieved when their food arrived and they had a distraction from the conversation, and immediately started slurping down some of the soup broth that was served with his ramen noodles.

            Jitsui wasted no time imitating him.  He might not be so chilled anymore, after the hot tea, and being inside that warm restaurant for awhile now, but he was hungry after two days of very limited rations.  And now he had a bowl as big as his face, filled with noodles, soup broth, and vegetables.

            Tazaki placed an extra order for bowls of rice and pickled vegetables for them, after seeing how fast they set upon their food, before the waitress could leave.  He started eating his own noodles with much more reserve.  He looked very amused, but didn’t comment, when Hatano and Jitsui had both finished their bowls before the waitress could return.

            After finishing up and paying the bill, they followed Tazaki to the car.  D-Agency’s other car.  After extorting more money out of Muto, Yuuki had secured a second car for them, since all eight spies wouldn’t fit in one car.  They might have to search for more dirt to blackmail him with now that they’d need a replacement for the other car.  Or they might actually have the budget for it now.  Jitsui didn’t know what all his fellow spies had been up to while he was undercover, but he was sure whatever tasks Yuuki-san gave them, they performed them perfectly.  He had no doubts that the army, and a number of high ranking officers owed them several favors by this point.

            “Yuuki-san wants you both in the backseat for the drive home,” said Tazaki, opening one of the car’s back doors for them.  “You’re to sit in the middle, Hatano.  Sorry.”

            “He made me sit there on the way home from the airport too,” muttered Hatano, climbing in.

            “I know.  I saw,” said Tazaki.

            “Huh?  How did you see?  You weren’t around that day, were you?” asked Hatano.

            Tazaki just smirked enigmatically and shut the door behind Jitsui, after Jitsui had climbed in.

            “He’s worried we were injured in the first crash?” asked Jitsui, once Tazaki had entered the car a moment later.  “I told him we were fine.”

            “It might just be he wants you in the back seat since it’s safer,” said Tazaki.  “The roads are still pretty bad.  Or maybe he wants you to get some rest.  Take a nap.  Before I left, something happened.  I’m not sure what, but Yuuki-san got some new intel and was talking with Kaminaga about it.  Could be you’re getting a new mission.”

            “But I haven’t undergone reconditioning yet,” said Jitsui.

            “I doubt it’s another long term undercover mission,” said Tazaki.  “He wouldn’t put you in another one of those without reconditioning.  But you performed perfectly fine against Wind Agency a few nights ago, so it’s not like you’ve deteriorated.  He might give you a short term mission before he reconditions you.  But this is all just speculation.”

            Suddenly, Jitsui felt a warm weight against his shoulder.  He glanced down and saw Hatano resting his head against him.

            “Might as well take advantage of the time and get a nap,” said Hatano.  “Hiking through snow is hard.”

            “Hm,” Jitsui agreed, lifting his arm so he could wrap it around Hatano’s shoulders and pull him a bit closer, and deliberately not looking up at the mirror to see if Tazaki was watching.  Which he knew Tazaki definitely was.  “Wake us up when we’re home.”

            “I’ll wake you up.  But not him,” said Tazaki.  “I don’t feel like going for a night swim in this weather.”

            “Wimp,” said Hatano.

            Jitsui laughed softly and leaned his head against the top of Hatano’s, and closed his eyes.  A nap did sound good. 

 

 

To be concluded, next chapter.


	10. Conclusion

            It turned out that Tazaki was right.  Yuuki did have another assignment for Jitsui.  For Tazaki as well.  They’d be going together on a mission Yuuki deemed very important.

            Jitsui discovered this upon his arrival back at D-Agency.  Tazaki shook Jitsui awake, when they arrived home.  Hatano was still sleeping, so Jitsui carried him up to the dorms.  Jitsui went straight to his own bed and put Hatano down on top of it, then threw a blanket over him to keep him warm, because he had no time to undress him and get him under all the covers.  Yuuki was waiting for him and Tazaki both.

            The briefing was quick.  There wasn’t much to go on.  Their information on the situation was limited.  But their objective was very clear.  And very, very important. 

            “Your ship leaves in four hours,” Yuuki informed them.  “Be packed and ready to depart in two.  Kaminaga will drive you to the harbor.”

            “Yes sir,” Jitsui and Tazaki said in unison, then left his office.  Kaminaga was waiting for them in the hallway.

            “Don’t be offended if Fukumoto seems a bit . . . miffed,” Kaminaga advised.  “He was hoping you wouldn’t get back in time, so this mission would go to him and me.  Honestly, I was hoping that too.  I’m getting a little bored just wasting away here at the agency.”

            “Someone has to take over for Yuuki-san someday,” said Tazaki practically.  “And we all know it’s either going to be you or Miyoshi.”

            Kaminaga’s expression twitched minutely.

            “What about Miyoshi?” Jitsui asked sweetly.

            “What?” Tazaki asked.

            “Kaminaga just twitched at the mention of Miyoshi’s name.  Which makes me think something is going on with Miyoshi,” said Jitsui, his eyes boring into Kaminaga’s.

            “Even if there is, you know I’m not allowed to discuss it with you,” said Kaminaga.  “Not when you’re about to go off on an important mission like this one.  The less details you have on the rest of us, the better.”

            “You need to work on your poker face,” Jitsui said.

            “Well, I didn’t catch the twitch,” said Tazaki.  “So his poker face is probably good enough to fool all but the sharpest observers.”

            “Which isn’t enough for D-Agency’s next leader,” said Jitsui.  Not malignantly.  Just honestly.  Because it was the truth and as far as he was concerned, Kaminaga deserved nothing less than that.  Just like D-Agency deserved nothing less than the best in its leaders.  He patted Kaminaga on the shoulder as he passed by him.  “Practice up.”

            Jitsui and Tazaki then went to pack.  They took care to be very quiet, since Hatano was still napping.  But both men were used to working in silence, and finished in good time.  Tazaki left the dorm once he was done.  Jitsui didn’t.  Instead he crawled into bed beside Hatano, under the blanket.  Hatano hadn’t been in the grips of head injury induced exhaustion, it seemed, because he awoke when Jitsui curled up beside him.

            “Hi,” Hatano said softly, smiling at Jitsui.

            “Hi.”  Jitsui pulled the blanket over both their heads, then kissed Hatano beneath it.  Then he broke the news.  “I’m sorry, but I have to tell you this.  I just got another mission.  I’ll be leaving in about an hour and a half.”

            Hatano looked disappointed.  But he leaned forward to kiss Jitsui again, to show him it was okay.  “How long will you be gone?”

            “I’m not sure.  A couple weeks, if it goes right.  Probably not longer than a month or two, if it doesn’t,” said Jitsui.  “It’s not deep cover.  And Tazaki’s going with me.”

            “Hm.  So this is something really, really important.”

            “What makes you say that?” asked Jitsui.

            “Yuuki-san sending two spies,” said Hatano.  “And you, just returned and not reconditioned.  Which means it’s time sensitive and that you were either chosen for your looks or to fill a niche, if he’s sending you instead of Fukumoto.”

            “There could be another reason,” said Jitsui.  He didn’t want to give too much away.  Yuuki would be mad if he did.  But it wasn’t outside the realm of expectations that Hatano could figure it out on his own, even without a hint.  If Fukumoto was upset, Hatano would realize it the moment he went down to the cafeteria and saw a storm of a different kind being baked up.  Jitsui knew that was all the hint it would take for Hatano to figure it out.  But he wanted to be the one to give Hatano the hint he needed.  He wanted to give the world to Hatano, honestly.  And in D-Agency, information was more valuable than coin.  “Say.  If you needed an extraction, do you think Yuuki-san would send me to get you out?”

            Hatano’s eyes got a little less droopy as he realized what Jitsui was implying.  Then he smirked.  “Enjoy your fifty bento boxes that Fukumoto sends along with you.”

            “Enjoy being stuffed, and mothered, and turned into a round little dumpling in my absence,” teased Jitsui right back, nipping at Hatano’s ear.  “I’ll make sure to pinch your cheeks when I come home.”

            “You laugh, but this is clearly just another part of Yuuki-san’s demonic conspiracy to make me chubby,” Hatano grumbled. 

            “You need to gain a bit of weight, my sweet,” Jitsui said, a bit more solemnly now.  “You were too thin when I first got home.  And these past few days have made you lose more.  You need to take care of your body too, if you want your mind to heal.  I want you to get better.”

            “And I want to get better,” said Hatano.  “I’m trying, Jitsui.”

            “I know.  But promise me you’ll let Fukumoto fuss over you a little.  Just for a week?” asked Jitsui.

            Hatano wavered.  But then he rolled his eyes.  “Alright.  I promise.  But only for a week.”

            Jitsui smiled.  Then he pounced on Hatano, pinning him to the bed, and kissed him, long and deep.  He only had about an hour and a half left before he had to leave again.  And he intended to make the most of it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

            They left right on schedule.  Hatano and Jitsui said their farewells in the front hallway of D-Agency.  Yuuki vetoed Hatano’s plan to ride to the harbor with them, and as much as Jitsui wanted every last minute with his boyfriend he could get, he approved of Yuuki’s decision.  The roads were still icy and slick in plenty of places.  He didn’t want to risk Hatano being in another car accident.

            It might have been Jitsui’s imagination, but he was pretty sure that the look Yuuki gave him, before seeing him off, was much sterner and colder than usual.  And Jitsui had a feeling he knew why.  Even though he and Hatano had both taken care to straighten up before they left the dorm.  They’d combed their hair, straightened their clothes . . .  They hadn’t kissed so hard that it made their lips puffy.  Jitsui hadn’t even left any bitemarks on Hatano . . . at least not anywhere Yuuki would see them.  But somehow, Yuuki just knew.  Of course he knew.  Jitsui was grateful for the distraction Fukumoto provided, and accepted the ten bento boxes the group’s den mother had fixed to send along with him and Tazaki.

            Then it was time to say goodbye to Hatano.  They’d said their more intimate good byes before coming downstairs.  Before they’d left the dorm, Hatano had flung himself at Jitsui, and given him a very heartfelt hug.  Now, here in the entry hall, they were saying goodbye again, but it was like playing a role.  Pretending they were still just best friends.  But that was fun in its own way.  Seeing how long they could keep the wool pulled over the others’ eyes.

            “Stay warm,” Jitsui advised Hatano, smiling mischievously at his boyfriend.  “And safe.  Don’t slack off paying attention, just because you’ve got a nice comfy reprieve, here at home.”

            Hatano smirked, recognizing his own words from a year ago.  “I won’t.  But you come home safe, alright?”

            “Alright.”

            “Promise,” Hatano insisted.

            “I promise,” said Jitsui.  Even though they both knew there were never any guarantees.  “I’ll come home safe.”

            “I’ll be waiting,” said Hatano. 

            Then Jitsui couldn’t stop himself from hugging Hatano again.  It took every bit of his willpower not to kiss him again too.  But that would completely give the game away.  So instead he just basked in Hatano’s warmth for the scant few seconds he could allow the hug to last, and breathed in Hatano’s scent, and tried not to think about all the uncertainties.  Because he would be coming back.  Jitsui was determined to.  Hatano was his now, and Jitsui would come back to him, no matter what. 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Notes:  This fic ends here.  But the story of the mission Jitsui and Tazaki are being sent on will be told in my next fic in this series.  Fic name still to be determined.  And before I write it, I need to do some research on what winter conditions are like in Manchuria.  So, it will be a little bit before that fic gets started.  Probably after the holidays wind down, unless inspiration strikes really hard.  But I have three other ongoing fics (Yes, I know, it’s bad to have so many, and I should have exercised better self control) to keep you occupied until then. :)

 

Please make sure to also check out [Spy Games](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6996442/chapters/15938404), which is a bunch of humorous oneshots about the shenanigans our boys get up to in their down time; [D-Agency Hotel and Casino](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7267513/chapters/16501549) which is a crime/casino AU, where our boys are the most badass crime family in Vegas; and [Seduction 101](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8511964/chapters/19509049) which is 100% Joker Game trash, about our babies playing with each others’ hearts (and hormones) as they attempt to seduce one another in the middle of a classroom, to earn a passing grade.

 

Thank you for reading.  I hope that this fic has kept you ~~bound down in Joker Game hell with me!~~ entertained. :)  I love getting feedback, so if you have time, please leave a comment. ^^;


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